(no subject)

[greenstorm]

I hate how, every time I get interested in a plant or a food, I am suddenly deliged with magical claims about its health-giving properties. It's harder to find information about taste and methods for cooking with something than it is to find people saying they eat it every day and it cured their cancer or whatever. I'm not opposed to placebos, if they work (and they often do!) but FFS. Food. You know, food, the purpose of which is to privide us with calories and nutrients and enjoyment, which have all been selectd for since our first ancestor ate something?

I let disability know I'd tried teaching at the pottery studio in exchange for money and they asked me for pay stubs. Pay stubs? As if I somehow entered into a full on employment situation instead of running a workshop for a bit of money. We'll see what they say about that. I cannot tell you how much I hate dealing with them. PRetty much any time I have to communicate with them I have multi-dat panic attacks. Starting to be true of medical professionals too, not the ones that scan me or somethign but the ones that require revevent information to be resented in order. How am I supposed to know what's relevent? How am I supposed to get it all into the time I'm allotted? Can't they come up with a better syste for complex cases? A form or something?

While we're talking about medical stuff that's roiling my emotions, how about 1) the number of people who would rather be dead than fat 2) the way Canada's clearly differentiating into a system whrre folks who pay can jump the line, not for broken arms but for complex, chromic, or women's diseases. It's not supposed to be able to do that? But it is. 3) And while I'm at it what's with the proliferation of vitual clniics and whatever they do with our information

I also keep wondering if anyone read Grapes of Wrath or not. Since the beginning of this economic nonsense I've been wondering which of the people I care about will end up falling into deep poverty. losing homes, skipping meals, that sort of thing. I've always assumed I'll be one of the first but have been held up so far. But I don't know how many people I know take that seriously, I suspect they're all like "oh yes this will be bad for other people" but it does impact us all

Making all the kimchi and sauerkraut has been great for eating veggies in a financially recponsible manner but the fermentation fridge does some sort of a cycle on the nights when the house temperature changes substantially (I think?) and then that room smells bad. At first I thought I'd left a jar out and it was over-fermented and I couldn't find it, but I don't think that's the case.

I am bad at and dislike making foundations for outbuildings. The weather has been so kind to me, picking away at a warm dry slope for the pigs to overwinter and making their house there. I have real trouble understanding how to put the thign together, though honestlu I'm just screwng pallets together and adding plywood for a windbreak, but it would be a lot easier if I could make the ground flat/levelish. As is the thign will look horrific and likely be moderately unstable.

Also what's with pigs destroying things? I get it, but they should not be able to rip out a piece of wood screwed on with five screws. I tied it back on with baling twine and they haven't got through that yet at least. I partially blame Josh, he got the wrong screws that don't self-tighten so things are looser than they should be. At least these screws weren't snapped off, as is more normal but also sharper and harder to remove.

Speaking of destroying things, the freaking rebel hen keeps eating expensive stuff, like bulbs and dog food. I should just eat her tbh. Also deer in the garden.

Also my body hurts.

Also I'm scared and angry and want a hug but don't want to deal with people and just want to know I'm safe and everything will be ok and I can't deal with how relentlessly the world wants it to not be ok.