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Apr. 27th, 2026 05:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormUsing my writing capacity for journaling instead of disability emails and paperworks makes a huge difference to my state of mind. I guess journaling is one of those very standard mental health things but if I say "disability paperwork won't allow me to take a pill" folks would be horrified but "disability paperwork won't let me do one of the most gold-standard other treatments" it's just kind of ok I guess.
Being able to rest also makes a difference. I can get back to real rest - eyes closed, quiet room with maybe a podcast that I kinda follow, or else sleeping -- from after my 8pm walk to Solly, interrupted for the 6am walk for her briefly, and then again resting fully until noon. If I do that, having the computer open for a couple hours scattered through the day, either journaling or watching youtube, doesn't mess me up as much. Then I start bedtime preparations at around 4pm, in order to have teeth brushed, dinner eaten, and maybe even showered by Solly's 8pm walk.
It's a long way of saying that I'm starting to feel a little better. I'm not recovered physically at all, and the inevitable weird new symptoms have shown up, but I'm reminded that there are reasons to continue to exist. I just need them to be a reliable part of my life.
"Just"
Being able to rest also makes a difference. I can get back to real rest - eyes closed, quiet room with maybe a podcast that I kinda follow, or else sleeping -- from after my 8pm walk to Solly, interrupted for the 6am walk for her briefly, and then again resting fully until noon. If I do that, having the computer open for a couple hours scattered through the day, either journaling or watching youtube, doesn't mess me up as much. Then I start bedtime preparations at around 4pm, in order to have teeth brushed, dinner eaten, and maybe even showered by Solly's 8pm walk.
It's a long way of saying that I'm starting to feel a little better. I'm not recovered physically at all, and the inevitable weird new symptoms have shown up, but I'm reminded that there are reasons to continue to exist. I just need them to be a reliable part of my life.
"Just"
