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greenstormSo I think that, with this weekend with the Juggler coming up, I'm trying to pretend to myself that I can have a normal relationship with him. I need to not do that. It'll hurt pretty badly at the end of it if I do.
Today is a puttering day. It was going to be a videogame day, but Tillie's computer's all passworded, so I can't play Heroes of Might and Magic III on it. That's an oversight on her part, I think, as she'd offered. Heroes is one of the few games I play, along with Scorched Earth, Civ I, and Dragon Warrior.
It also means I had to figure out how to play CDs on the DVD player. Interesting. I hate things that need remotes. I realise I've been living in a tech-limited world despite my heavy reliance on this computer here.
So, instead of playing videogames, I'm roleplaying idly while doing dishes/roomcleaning and toying with my self-image surrounding relationships. It's looking like my life might be turning into one of those 'relationships every third weekend and keep them out of the rest of my life' sort of deal, which is interesting. There's just no one appropriate and available to share more with.
Available, Greenie, is part of appropriate. Remember that.
I think I'm getting over the lonliness factor now, which is kind of nice. I'm switching gears from having a few intimates to a bunch of people I know... which given the way I act, kind of means many intimates, not on a sexual level but on an honesty level. I'm sure Juggler's gonna have a problem with that, but eh. Somehow the 'I don't want to schedule too much with you this week because I don't like scheduling' plus the 'I'm sorry, I can't spontaneously talk to you on the phone, I have six dates scheduled with other people this week and I need to get to them' combination doesn't lead me to want to listen real well to him in that department.
I shouldn't be bitter about this on lj, but the truth is I just am not getting time to hash it out with him, and I need to let it go somewhere. I don't mind talking to him first about things and letting us sort them out before I 'go public', but there is a maximum time I'll wait in there.
Yeah. Not everyone's like that, right? :P
Today is a puttering day. It was going to be a videogame day, but Tillie's computer's all passworded, so I can't play Heroes of Might and Magic III on it. That's an oversight on her part, I think, as she'd offered. Heroes is one of the few games I play, along with Scorched Earth, Civ I, and Dragon Warrior.
It also means I had to figure out how to play CDs on the DVD player. Interesting. I hate things that need remotes. I realise I've been living in a tech-limited world despite my heavy reliance on this computer here.
So, instead of playing videogames, I'm roleplaying idly while doing dishes/roomcleaning and toying with my self-image surrounding relationships. It's looking like my life might be turning into one of those 'relationships every third weekend and keep them out of the rest of my life' sort of deal, which is interesting. There's just no one appropriate and available to share more with.
Available, Greenie, is part of appropriate. Remember that.
I think I'm getting over the lonliness factor now, which is kind of nice. I'm switching gears from having a few intimates to a bunch of people I know... which given the way I act, kind of means many intimates, not on a sexual level but on an honesty level. I'm sure Juggler's gonna have a problem with that, but eh. Somehow the 'I don't want to schedule too much with you this week because I don't like scheduling' plus the 'I'm sorry, I can't spontaneously talk to you on the phone, I have six dates scheduled with other people this week and I need to get to them' combination doesn't lead me to want to listen real well to him in that department.
I shouldn't be bitter about this on lj, but the truth is I just am not getting time to hash it out with him, and I need to let it go somewhere. I don't mind talking to him first about things and letting us sort them out before I 'go public', but there is a maximum time I'll wait in there.
Yeah. Not everyone's like that, right? :P
