greenstorm | Home Early.

I'm out at VanDusen early, and it's good. It means I have more time to fritter away on here.

I know everyone's lives have been on hold as they breathlessly await my next real solid update. Unfortunately, I'm spending more time thinking of things to say on transit lately than actually remembering anything interesting to transfer. Obviously (?) I'm also thinking a whole bunch about my New Relationship and (poly people will understand) about my Current Relationship; not only must I come up with a handle for the former, but I also want to deal with the actual relationships in the smoothest possible way. It's pretty important for me not to hurt the Juggler in it all, for instance, (he's doing pretty well) and I worry about his ability to gauge his own stuff and present it to me if he needs anything.

I'm also being good in the new one, which means following my own boundaries. I'm sure you're all going to be shocked and amazed, but I am going as slowly in this as I know how without being uncomfortably reticient. It's pretty cool, because I feel (do I always say this?) awfully confident and self-sufficient right now. I don't -want- to run off and do anything stupid and needy and codependent, which is a big relief. In fact, the thing that worries me the most so far is that this is so unworrisome.

Too, I've noticed that I've got my... strength back, for lack of a better word. It's not the enduring, crawling through sucky stuff that I'm talking about but the kind of strength that is like: wow, a relationship problem. Instead of slinking into the shadows and whimpering, I'm going to do something about this. This is the sort of strength that led me through the fluid bond issue before I met (insert acronym here), so...

We interrupt this programming to let you all know that we'll just call him Chris. Not PretentiousBlonde, not EnviroDreads, but just Chris. Thus is my life made easier.

...it's the sort of strength that got me through the fluid bond issue before, so it doesn't feel like external-source stuff. I notice that stuff tends to fall in line when I exercise that kind of strength, too; when I see to my own needs everything just kind of works. What a concept.

VanDusen is incredible today. I love the fall; it's chillier but the scents and colours are so vivid. The katsura trees are turning, they go from green to this incredibly luminous apricot-peach-butter colour. The japanese maples are a patchwork of bright green and flaming red. The beautyberries are out again(!!!!) but they haven't dropped their leaves yet, and their purple is unbelievable. Hawthorns are doing well this year, and masses of red fruit are everywhere. The sweet chestnuts are starting to drop nuts! The leaves are actively falling and skittering across the ground.

Soon there will be frost. I have two squash from my garden in my bag.

The poetry on bctransit busses has changed; I suppose this is a new advertising season. I haven't liked the new poems so much yet, but I think I've only read two.

My stuff is starting to accumulate in North Van. I spent a bit of time over there with Troy and Nina eating a wonderful dinner and chatting a bit; the social stuff is really soothing to my poor NRE'd brain right now. I can't wait to arrange the room, but right now I also want to be outdoors constantly at Stanley Park on the seawall on the swings with all those trees, and with the ocean.

I should bike more.

Wow. I'm not talking about him constantly -- I have the urge to, when I'm with the Juggler, talk about Chris constantly and vice versa. They're such different people. I think Ellen will like Chris.

Gargh. I'll do the rundown later. For now, my arm muscles hurt, and typing sucks. T'care.