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greenstormI had a date tonight. It lasted for two hours. We watched Grosse Point Blank, then he went to pick up his wife from the airport. It's the shortest date I've ever had in my life. There was no sex. I'm happy.
Having these things at my own house is nice and not-unsettling, but I think things are just good recently. I've realised that a friend of Chris' is potential friend material, which... dude, you may not believe this, but good, solid RL friends are harder for me to find than long term relationships. I'm a spinny person, and relationships are spinny. Friendships require a really solid person on the other end to anchor. None of this paragraph may be true, because I'm dead tired and happy, and I say weird things when I'm happy, but I'm sure it approximates a truth.
I've also been invited to a party Friday night, which is really exciting. As in, it's a party of the kind I want to go to, which sort of party occurs so seldom that my head is kind of spinning. I was going to explicitly not be invited to this one, and then I was. Yay!
I like the sound of Chris' voice.
I like the sound of the Juggler's heartbeat.
I love the soundtrack to Grosse Point Blank (pretend I'm spelling this right?).
I have a heating pad and my magic wand in bed so my feet will be warm and I'll have good sex, both as and when I want them.
I'll see the people I love soon enough for me.
Friday, I'll make biscuits and feed people.
Tomorrow, I will -not forget to drop the key off at Tillie's-.
This has been your public Greenstorm service announcement. Be well, hm?
Having these things at my own house is nice and not-unsettling, but I think things are just good recently. I've realised that a friend of Chris' is potential friend material, which... dude, you may not believe this, but good, solid RL friends are harder for me to find than long term relationships. I'm a spinny person, and relationships are spinny. Friendships require a really solid person on the other end to anchor. None of this paragraph may be true, because I'm dead tired and happy, and I say weird things when I'm happy, but I'm sure it approximates a truth.
I've also been invited to a party Friday night, which is really exciting. As in, it's a party of the kind I want to go to, which sort of party occurs so seldom that my head is kind of spinning. I was going to explicitly not be invited to this one, and then I was. Yay!
I like the sound of Chris' voice.
I like the sound of the Juggler's heartbeat.
I love the soundtrack to Grosse Point Blank (pretend I'm spelling this right?).
I have a heating pad and my magic wand in bed so my feet will be warm and I'll have good sex, both as and when I want them.
I'll see the people I love soon enough for me.
Friday, I'll make biscuits and feed people.
Tomorrow, I will -not forget to drop the key off at Tillie's-.
This has been your public Greenstorm service announcement. Be well, hm?
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 12:18 am (UTC)My experience and observation of poly relationships has been otherwise. Certainly, new relationships go through a period of intensity, but the way I've done and seen it done, exclusivity never enters into it.
It's just that, for me, the point of entering into a relationship in a polyamorous context is that it's not exclusive and won't ever be. I've heard rumours and myths of polyamory done differently, but I find there's enough emotional issues to grapple with without adding in hidden monogamous agendas.
Nothing wrong with monogamy, mind—it's just not what I choose. :-)
no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 03:19 am (UTC)I can see that in the current social paradigm, there's a lot of the idea that someone is cheating with you because they love you more, and that the natural end to a cheating relationship is the end of the primary relationship and a marriage of the cheating partners or something. In my little tiny peer group that's not so, but I think it exists in the larger world.
At the moment, I'm not personally interested in a monogamous relationship. I am, however, interested in a long-term relationship, and I can picture myself at some points in my life possibly becoming temporarily monogamous, or maybe even physically monogamous in a longer-term sense. For me, what it comes down to is that the primary relationship has to be all-encompassing enough and permanent enough to be worth enlisting my full willpower in the defense of monogamy, rather than in other places where I think it belongs like in getting my passport stuff done, in working, in behaving civilly within the relationship, etc.
Currently, my 'other' and I share sex as a pretty vital part of our connection. It's an emotional communication medium for us as well as a hobby and a craft. Because it's such a huge part of our relationship, it would be a -big deal- to stop having sex with him. There are people I know that I'd like to have sex with, friends with whom it's not a big deal not to sleep with them, because that interaction would be a plus and not a vital part of the way we fit together. At this particular moment, my poly radar is set to low, That is, I'm limiting my other relationships and their possibilities pretty severely in the interests of my current relationship and in the interests of my breakup healing.
Someday my poly radar may be set to high, and I'll indulge in relationships where sex is merely a plus, something nice on the side.
Someday the Juggler and my dynamic might change, or something might come up in another way that would cause his relationship and mine to end. I wouldn't go seek out another 'other' relationship immediately as things stand right now.
That's just physical stuff. Emotional and 'attractive' monogamy, where I would love or be attracted physically to only one person, are things I can't see myself doing ever as things stand now.