A Poem And Snow
Jan. 6th, 2005 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormThe Prophet, Chapter 16, Pain -- Kahlil Gibran
And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain."
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
That's the kind of pain I need to retain in my life, and get rid of the rest. Stretching pain, yannow?
I'm back up again, although I was hit really, really hard last night by a burst of nostalgia/something. It was the first time I'd tried to sleep with Chris in the other room typing. There were so many years of that, with Kynnin, lying in bed awake and trying to sleep and waiting, while in the other room there was the sound of a keyboard. So long... I remember it in Abbotsford, and on Commercial Drive. The sound has worn a deep groove in my soul that leads to so many of those memories and I couldn't pull myself off them for awhile. Finally I got to sleep, and this morning there was snow, and everything is alright again.
It was a busy day, and I did the things I should have done. I made my appointment for my repeat pap test after the irregular one (Irregulars unite!) but am not too afraid of the results there. Did lots of work calling, got together with mom, drank unholy amounts of warm beverages with Chris (made chai, miso soup, and tapioca pudding) and took a zillion pictures of my rat-baby-girls. They will evidence after a bit.
Tomorrow, more Juggler (good, although scary, because I've been seeing tons of him and I need to not get used to this) and I now have my silver wire so I should have tons of fake piercings soon. Tomorrow, work. This weekend: work, LARPing, Tillie's party (I can only make it on Saturday, unless it goes late Sunday, but I will be there for at least a bit!) maybe Trevor time. Chris will show up here tonight after his piano thingy. I feel good, my life is busy and full of people. Monday pictures with Miravaz (!!!?) if I can find his house. Then, back to work...
It's cold out there. Keeping the rats warm is important. They'll fight each other for housing space is there isn't plenty of it allotted, and they need to be in little rat-homes to keep warm. Hey, I should make a rat-home with the Juggler!
Tonight, laundry.
Tonight, sleeping well and deeply on my marshmallowy bed. I have a nice bed. :) I own it, too. Mineminemine! Not borrowed, not someone else's.
And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain."
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
That's the kind of pain I need to retain in my life, and get rid of the rest. Stretching pain, yannow?
I'm back up again, although I was hit really, really hard last night by a burst of nostalgia/something. It was the first time I'd tried to sleep with Chris in the other room typing. There were so many years of that, with Kynnin, lying in bed awake and trying to sleep and waiting, while in the other room there was the sound of a keyboard. So long... I remember it in Abbotsford, and on Commercial Drive. The sound has worn a deep groove in my soul that leads to so many of those memories and I couldn't pull myself off them for awhile. Finally I got to sleep, and this morning there was snow, and everything is alright again.
It was a busy day, and I did the things I should have done. I made my appointment for my repeat pap test after the irregular one (Irregulars unite!) but am not too afraid of the results there. Did lots of work calling, got together with mom, drank unholy amounts of warm beverages with Chris (made chai, miso soup, and tapioca pudding) and took a zillion pictures of my rat-baby-girls. They will evidence after a bit.
Tomorrow, more Juggler (good, although scary, because I've been seeing tons of him and I need to not get used to this) and I now have my silver wire so I should have tons of fake piercings soon. Tomorrow, work. This weekend: work, LARPing, Tillie's party (I can only make it on Saturday, unless it goes late Sunday, but I will be there for at least a bit!) maybe Trevor time. Chris will show up here tonight after his piano thingy. I feel good, my life is busy and full of people. Monday pictures with Miravaz (!!!?) if I can find his house. Then, back to work...
It's cold out there. Keeping the rats warm is important. They'll fight each other for housing space is there isn't plenty of it allotted, and they need to be in little rat-homes to keep warm. Hey, I should make a rat-home with the Juggler!
Tonight, laundry.
Tonight, sleeping well and deeply on my marshmallowy bed. I have a nice bed. :) I own it, too. Mineminemine! Not borrowed, not someone else's.
