Hrm.

Ups, downs, and burnt-outs seem to be happening a lot lately, but mostly the burnt-outs. There's a chance I might need to move because of my rat-babies and their incompatibility with _locke. There's a new rat-baby, Caramel, who precipitated this. The situation sucks, cause it's not good for me to keep my pets out of the house for a month or two, even just a couple of them, but it's also pretty bad for Tillie to need to spend most dates with _locke outside of the house.

I'm looking into my options, she's looking into hers. The not-knowing's kind of stressful. I need to get used to not-knowing, cause I'm doing a lot of it lately, it seems.

In other news that I was too tired to get out the other night, my mom found a huge number of cards and letters and such from when I was about one. I saw the first pictures I've ever seen of my dad's mom, my grandpa on my mom's side, and my great grandma on my mom's side. No family resemblances, but it's neat to see. My grandparents on mom's side were pretty young when they died -- mom's about that age, but she's in great health, so...

Jeeze, that's just what I need right now, right?

There are a bunch of cards in there, and letters. In one my uncle Dave suggests naming me Quasar, or 'for a good old fashioned biblical name, how about Jesus Christ'? His sense of humour's still closest to mine. The Juggler read it, laughed, and said: is he serious?

I'm staying at Ellen's place while she's gone, which means I'm 1) on a mac laptop to do this and 2) alone except for m rats. I'm worried about folding into myself, but we'll see.

I was hoping to get a whole bunch of stuff done this weekend, but it looks like only some of it will come to pass. Ahwell. I should still be getting together with my brothers, and watching the engine get torn down.

Entertainment

So, I saw Alien vs. Predator.

It was definitely alien vs. predator, alright, but... it was actually pretty boring in the beginning, and ...hrm. I don't know how to say this. It had lots of great stills, but it was neither as epic-creepy as alien nor really cinematic nor hugely actiony. It felt short. In short, it was an okay movie, but not as spectacular as it should have been.

Sequels are like that, I guess. Still, there were huge numbers of beautiful still-scenes in it, lots of cheese, and lots of plot holes. Good stuff.

I really need to get me a copy of Shaolin Soccer, though. I need a laugh.

I'm really paranoid today, that no one who knows me well likes me. I mean, mom has to stick with me, right? But everyone else is gone. Now, I know that Kynnin's problems with me are his own business, the thing with Chris and Mouse is just weird and Chris claims I still make a good friend, Tillie's just worried about _locke, and Ellen's had this stuff planned for awhile and is busy and vacationing. But... man, no one's there. I mean, you people are there in some sense, but I need to pick up the phone and call someone.

Next on the list are long-distance: Trevor, maybe Kyle.

This is why I need to get out more. I need to expand the circle, cause I want someone to lie o the bed reading with while we both annoy each other by quoting our favourite parts of the books just when the other person's book is getting good. You know? Someone to be with.

Disappointment.

Okay, well, that's disappointing.

I remain, nonetheless, hanging in there. This thread is thinning, though.