Progress Of A Sort

Today I sent away for my birth certificate, which I had a year ago, but which I somehow don't have now. It should take about six weeks to get it back. My mom's paying, but total cost was about $50 for notary + fees.

When it comes back, I send out for passport and citizenship, total cost about $350 for citizenship all told and maybe $80 for passport (this includes things like the pics) which mom is also paying for, but I like to know what this'll all end up being.

Passport should be quick. I then can send away for my Permanent Resident Card, so the time frame for that is maybe... six weeks plus six weeks, three months. Processing time for permanent resident card at present time is actually unknown, but maybe three months? So six months for that branch to be done if I don't end up needing anything else.

When I get the passport I can go for BCID + drivers' license, BCID will take about a month to process, so I'll have that ID in four months and I can go clubbing (:P?). Drivers' I'll get in three months with that, then I have to actually do the learning stuff &c, but I can start in three if all goes according to plan.

Citizenship takes forever, it seems to take between eight months to a year between submission of the forms and getting citizenship, though I'm not sure (koppermoon?) because my mom the test case was absent for four months and couldn't write her exam the first time round. There's a test in there, and waiting for test results, etc. It's likely that, given submission in three months, I can get citizenship before 2006.

That's exciting, to have everything laid out like this. I actually think this can happen, having perused the documents on what I need to send in for what. *fingercross* *touch wood*

General Update

First LARP session last Sunday. It was pretty cool. I'll be talking more about it later, I think, but it's very interesting to see the differences and similarities between physical and textual roleplay. It's definitely different inside session more than it is outside, so actual playing the char feels different, while things like costuming the char and writing them up don't feel different at all from Chia stuff.

Weird to have -no possibility- of crossgender playing.

Weird to have the character use that internal sense of 'me' instead of having a number of them in my head at once. Immersion is both deeper (the thoughts of the character are my thoughts) and less focused (no overhead describing what happens, it just happens, so more thought cycles are left free). It's beautiful to be in a group full of good roleplayers, with such a high entry-bad that you never run into newbies. It's frustrating to be 'just a player' with no wider vision of what's going on -- no logs, not really any 'this happened over there while you weren't looking'. It's a very first-person viewpoint dealie, and there are things I'm interested in that my char just doesn't care about. Costuming is really fun. Body language is exquisite to roleplay physically, I think it comes across a lot better.

There were a lot of fun body-language incidents -- my char edging towards someone flirtatiously and they edge away till they both end up in the bushes, a lot of crossed arms or standing sideways (hip-on) to people, a lot of eye contact things. I wear a wig to play her, and long hair is such an excellent roleplay aid. It screens and limits your view, like blinders, it's like a shield to hide behind from eye contact, it gives you something to toss and toy with, it makes me even RL feel like a little corralled female, and so it helps me to play the socially acceptable teenager very much.

So that was cool.

I'm still sick, which is not so cool. Being outdoors for five hours or something for the LARP, plus the night after (last night) going to the Hollywood on cheap night and sitting through two movies until late seems not to have helped the sickness. I saw both Sky Captain and Team America for a total of $4, which is about what they were worth together (though Chris paid, and I paid him back in sex as per the good old male/female bargain, so really there's no way to lose even if they weren't worth admission price). Not unhappy, was surprised at how bored I was for the first half of Sky Captain and how I didn't get the creeping horrors at Team America (it was a good send-up of standard Hollywood movies and not too preachy, so I appreciated the action-movie parody aspect).

I have inspiration for more building on Chia, and I also have a place that takes paypal which makes (get this) camo washable sanitary pads w/ organic cotton lining, and who wouldn't rather be using camo print to sop up blood? So I'm motivated to try and out time in to follow up this motivation. As a note, I'm amazed at how much easier it is to remove blood from cloth (cold water) than mud.

And shortly I will go nap.

That's it for now. :)

Melancholy Dip

And now I'm suddenly sad. Some of those mental habits are so hard to break. Do you know, I was joking about the sex-security bargain in our society just a little bit ago. Now, the actuality of my conditioning on it is catching up in a different context. I have no desire to stick out my breasts and compete with other women for attention. I do like dressing up, but not taking it to a competitive venue. Suddenly I have the feeling that this means I'm worthless -- if I don't compete and win, then I'll be left in favour people who are willing to claw their way to the front, and of course that being left makes me worthless.

This is probably sickness and late-night (yes, it's late) related. Still, I wish it would GO AWAY. There's a huge corner of my mind that just wants to leave the playground when I'm feeling like this. I hate losing, I would rather not play at all.

Often, the spectre of losing keeps me from things that I'd enjoy.

I absolutely detest the idea of winning/losing in sex or relationship-type situations. I hate that the idea is there, with that poisonous underlying points system, because I respond to it no matter how much I try.

Chris said the other day that he doesn't want to be chasing his relationships anymore, they're either there or they're not. I understand that statement so completely at times like this.

I've been trying to do too much lately while I'm sick. It's just prolonging this. I need to be sure to stay places where I can get to bed and sleep early and often-- and so I go out LARPing, go watch movies, and head to the Juggler's. There's that constant feeling of 'this is the chance' - Mouse comes back tomorrow so Juggler won't be available for awhile, Chris could only see the movie with me that night and is busy studying the rest of the time, the LARP happens once per month. So I've been pushing myself with the idea that things'll calm down shortly, but they just provide more once-only opportunities.

Bah. Elbow hurts, too much typing. Did get some stuff done on Chia, though. 'Nighto.