New Addition

I am now the proud caretaker/owner of Helen of Troy, a beautiful white hairless girlie who's abotu six weeks old, just losing her baby fur now. Hairless rats scratch more easily, having no hair to keep the introduction-feints from doing harm, and the girlies are being militant at her (Merlyn's being sweet, and Caramel is being indifferent). My rats are all THE BEST rats in the world.

http://members.shaw.ca/ratanist/rescue_babies1.htm has pictures of Helen, she's the white one.

Also: I saw Kung Fu Hustle again last night w/ brothers. Looking online, I notice the trailer for the American one sucks. I think the American one is dubbed, which also sucks.

But! There's this movie coming out. It's a martial art-ish movie where whatsisdude the martial arts guy is raised in a cage and walks around in a collar a lot. Anyone wanna see that movie with me and have lots of sex afterwards? :P (this is a more limited offer than my usual wanna-get-together offers, alas).

More on Helen soonish. Hairless rats give off an ENORMOUS amount of heat.

Prayer From Greatpoets

I'm behind this one.

Prayer
by Elie Wiesel

The prayer read by Wiesel during the radio program [Speaking of Faith] originally appeared in a diary and was included in the collection One Generation After.

I no longer ask you for either happiness or paradise; all I ask of You is to listen and let me be aware of Your listening.

I no longer ask You to resolve my questions, only to receive them and make them part of You.

I no longer ask You for either rest or wisdom, I only ask You not to close me to gratitude, be it of the most trivial kind, or to surprise and friendship. Love? Love is not Yours to give.

As for my enemies, I do not ask You to punish them or even to enlighten them; I only ask You not to lend them Your mask and Your powers. If You must relinquish one or the other, give them Your powers. But not Your countenance.

They are modest, my requests, and humble. I ask You what I might ask a stranger met by chance at twilight in a barren land.

I ask you, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to enable me to pronounce these words without betraying the child that transmitted them to me: God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, enable me to forgive You and enable the child I once was to forgive me too.

I no longer ask You for the life of that child, nor even for his faith. I only beg You to listen to him and act in such a way that You and I can listen to him together.

To Buy

Rat cage (Martin Cages, the BIG one)
Fingernail clippers
Toothbrush (soft) for rat tail cleaning
Vacuum bags
Greenhouse lumber + poly
Chestnuts
New shoes
Rope
Safety Pins

Rat Blabber And Plum Trees

So yesterday I met mom at the world's largest bannock thing at about 10am, and we hung out there for about an hour. I came home with two plum trees, they were being 'sold' by the city for $5. There's a golden and a red... erm, I'll look it up and post it later. They're going in pots out back. It was weird looking at people giving away bare-root trees and walking off with 'em.

Then mom & I went to pick up the then-unnamed Helen, whose story is at the link below with her pic. Her mum's a beautifully friendly, lively white hairless girlie, and she's very similar thus far in temperament.

Helen hung out in my shirt most of the day as we prepped the boat to take out, but the motor on the Zodiac wasn't working, so we didn't end up going out anyhow. Played tennis for a bit, mom, two brothers, and one brother's girlfriend. Brothers and brother's girlfriend went to Kung Fu Hustle and saw the cool preview for 'unleashed'. Fell asleep on the boat, was exhausted -- Helen slept in her carrier instead of beside me, cause I'm paranoid. She was really hyper before I put her to bed.

Came back this morning after grocery shopping. My, I never knew my girls could be so pissy! They're so sweet to me. I'm going to playland with Tillie, having got my season's ride pass, and I've put Helen in the carrier with the carrier /inside/ the big cage, and the girls are squeeking and hissing through it like crazy. They can't get at each other, though, so hopefully we'll have some scent mixing in the meantime.

I'm nervous leaving them alone even with that arrangement, but what can ya do? I need to toenail-clip 'em before letting them roam together again, though. Helen's been spending her time in my shirt on the bed, while the girls alternatively do other stuff and hiss/sniff suspiciously at the bulge in my shirt.

Helen Update

I'd forgotten what babies were like. Especially REALLY HYPERACTIVE babies. I still love her, though. ;)

Grief.

Here's my grief again. It's an old friend, alien now, a thing I used to feel when I was someone else. All the old habits kick in as if it were frightening: I push it away, I name names, I devise plans to avoid it in the future. I get out livejournal. I called Juggler. He partied the last couple of nights, and doesn't wanna deal with people (me) right now. I think, this isn't fair, it's only true cause he's been out doing things with Mouse, I should tell him we need to stop doing things cyclically. I think, no, that's not true, you'll take what you can get, no cutting it off to spite your face. I think, it doesn't matter anyhow. Now is when I want... not even him, just someone, a hug, something. I tlked to Tillie today, which was really nice, but it reminded me of when my interpersonal relationships were big and full of promise and potential. Right now I don't have any relationships, as such - what I have with Juggler is sometimes better defined as fuckbuddies - and I don't really have the emotional certainty for relationships. I don't even, just at this moment, know what a relationship is. People are always mysteries to each other in the end on some level.

I shouldn't be writing right now. I should be living, not watching. I- this is my hand reaching out, though. Sometimes, I do reach out.