Sometimes...

You gotta set free what you love ust to bring it back.
Would you ever lose me, would you ever let go for that?
And if the love is real, you gotta let yourself go
Just to bring it back...

http://s9.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=25CIIY8DYR71G3NBKN7EQL08YB

I want to tell you about something beautiful.

Oh, how words falter here.

Put the song on. It was playing on repeat. Jan had been over from Germany, it was the first timr we'd met in person, perhaps a week or four days into his visit. It was evening.

We were in the computer room-- Kynnin, Jan, and I. I don't remember how it started. All I know is that Kynnin lay there between us, us sitting facing each other over him, and we touched him, and this song was playing. Sometimes we looked at each other; sometimes we looked at him. This song was playing, and playing, and playing. There was a hundred-watt bulb in a crappy light fixture, and rather nice carpet beneath us. It would have been silent, for all that the song was playing, because time absolutely stopped. We all three were just *there*. There was God and love on our fingertips. I wouldn't even call it sex. The evening drew in very close around us, the world contracted, and the song played. We were just there.

Understand, in the end Kynnin and I didn't get along. Understand, in the end, Jan and I were too afraid of what might happen if we gave in to each other. Understand, this had nothing to do with who they were-- they were people who could freely and joyously and fearlessly fall into an 'us' in an Abbotsford apartment and somehow hole through this mundane skin to reality so deeply in so doing that I will never forget it.

It Would Be...

...a good meme. Post a song with meaning via yousendit to your livejournal, and tell us about a memory that song evokes in you.

Songs I've heard do run so deep in me.

Progress

Reading back over some stuff from July 2004, and from July 2003. Kynnin breakup stuff, iin part. I really am more together now. And, interestingly, when I react to things I don't feel like lots of different people in the same head-- I'm just me, and I don't need to fight with it.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/greenstorm/96380.html

It's good to look back sometimes, isn't it?

My Bed.

I think my bed is in some spiritual/symbolic sense very significant to me. The more I sleep in it, the more grounded I am. Home is where the roots are.

Today I woke up and wandered around old lj posts bemusedly while watching the sun rise through my window. I napped a bit again, then took off to work. I've eaten regularly today. Although weird hormonal vibrations are still emitting from my womb (you know that feeling you get when you eat two pounds of rockets or other sugar at one sitting? Imagine that pumping palpably into your blood constantly) I think I'm coming back down. Yay.

I still need to go dancing though.