Grown-Up

On Friday, I was given the choice between full-time permanent job that I like and four-month fantasy education. I chose the job, and littler, more realistic snippets of education.

Now I'll be moving, time as-yet-undecided, to a place of my own. I'm eyeing a March 1st date, but nothing is set in stone yet.

Mom's going to Japan again this summer, I'm not sure if my brother is going with her or not.

A friend of mine was killed recently in service to his government. I only knew him online, but for awhile we were very close. He shared my birthday.

I feel like I picture my parents to have been when they had me; immersed in life, a little ragged, fully alive.

Or Did I Mean To Say...?

A friend of mine who I love dearly died, and fuck you, world?

Did I mean to say, beloved flesh will be melting back into soil, and that's the way it should be, and there is a hole in me now? This is grief. It's mourning. The back of my skull feels like when you eat too much sugar and your tongue goes numb. It was beautiful, and now it's gone. I couldn't even tell you what it is. He left a baby, enwombed still in his wife. There's something precious somewhere.

I meant to say, I'll miss you, miss you lots, my friend. I loved to play with you.