And Again

Enough poetry and I'm writing again in my datebook. Maybe I'll transcribe some. Anyhow, from greatpoets:

Trying to Raise the Dead

Look at me. I’m standing on a deck
in the middle of Oregon. There are
friends inside the house. It’s not my

house, you don’t know them.
They’re drinking and singing
and playing guitars.( Read more... )

What are you

now? Air? Mist? Dust? Light?
What? Give me something. I have
to know where to send my voice.

A direction. An object. My love, it needs
a place to rest. Say anything. I’m listening.
I’m ready to believe. Even lies, I don’t care.

Say burning bush. Say stone. They’ve
stopped singing now and I really should go.
So tell me, quickly. It’s April. I’m

on Spring Street. That’s my gray car
in the driveway. They’re laughing
and dancing. Someone’s bound

to show up soon. I’m waving.
Give me a sign if you can see me.
I’m the only one here on my knees.

- Dorianne Laux

Today I've been very emotionally volatile, but I'm staying reliably in the good end of the sprctrum. It's been awhile. There are so many fantastic happy things in my life today that I don't want the day to end; don't want to go to sleep and leave my clean house with the pie that my wife baked me and the music settling through the amber-lit air. When I'm done writing this I'll sneak into bed and lie there next to Bob while he sleeps and watch his face in the slash of light that comes in through the window. Do you know the feeling that I'm talking about, just from that?

I got tomato sauce and apple sauce made today, tomato sauce for dinner made from Juggler's tomatoes, the apple sauce made from windfall apples from Strathcona community garden. Bob says, 'eeew, I can't cut these, they have bugs in them' so I prepped them all in the end. I love eating a meal that works out like that, where the major ingredient is something harvested locally for 'free'.

The other night I spent with CrazyChris and Tillie and Juggler making chicken soup (well, eating it)-- did I tell you my friends are so wonderful? And last night was karaoke, and as ridiculously silly as it sounds, Bob sang me one of my favourite songs and I've been floating all day. Jack will be coming down this weekend, and though I'll be in Sechelt for some of it, I should hook up with him Sunday or Monday. I've missed him so much-- I only really spent the two weeks of the permaculture course with him, but that doesn't matter to this sort of thing.

I almost called Trevor tonight; not sure why I didn't. I need to stop feeling as if calling someone is an imposition. Usually people are happy to hear from me in the end, I think. What a magical concept.

Blue Rodeo's Bad Timing is on repeat right now. Yeah.

So much love. The seasons are turning, my home is a warm thing that people can come into full of love and family, the leaves are falling, the ocean is so flat and calm, the sky is so blue lately. People are like jewels whenever I see them, so bright. The nights are peaceful and together-feeling. Days are productive and full. Yes.

Hey it's me what a big surprise
Calling you up from a restaurant
Around the bend
I just got in from way up North
I'm aching tired now
And I could use a friend
I might be a fool
To think that you do
Want to see me again
It's been awhile since I talked to you
Nothing wrong
Just nothing ever goes as planned
Many times I thought I'd call
I didn't have your number in my hand
I know it's true
You'd never do
The same thing to me
I never meant to make you cry
And though I know I shouldn't call
It just reminds us of the cost
Of everything we've lost
Bad timing that's all
Maybe soon there'll come a day
When no more tears will fall
If we each forgive a little bit
And we both look back on it
As just bad timing that's all
We used to have so many plans
Something always seemed to turn out wrong
I never could catch up to you
Moving on and doing what you've done
I don't know why
The harder I try
The harder it comes
I never meant to make you cry
And though I know I shouldn't call
It just reminds us of the cost
Of everything we've lost
Bad timing that's all

Be well. Good night.