Dark Corners Indeed

So last night something I've been struggling with came out. That something is Angus' illness. You know, I've always tried to be good with it--he has to live with it all the time--but the fact of the matter is that when I ask my partner, the person I am closest with, how he is, most of the time lately the answer is a variant on 'crappy and in pain'. The fact of the matter is that when I come home, I feel I need to bring my game face with me instead of relaxing. Yesterday I ran out of game face and it terrified me. It feels so ugly to say, 'i don't care how you're feeling right now, I need something from you'. I didn't want to wade through a who-has-it-worse conversation cause he wins those. I just needed to say my piece and be held and have him stroke my hair with no arguments.

I got what I needed in the end. We've has a mid-April relationship discussion on the table for awhile now, it's still there- we don't have time for that now. I think I can make it till then at this point.

Now for work, rat cage cleaning, sleep, work, revolutionizing rats, packing for the move on Sunday, packing for the show, scrubbing and clipping rats if I have time, doing laundry, eating, and maybe more sleep.

Almost done. Just under a week left.

Oh.

PMS, now is not the time. Between Friday morning and Sunday midnightish I will have zero seconds to myself or in a space without a half-dozen people. Between now and Friday morning I have negative downtime. Please can ya wait till Monday?

On Repeat Till Sunday Night

Petter, Ellen, ThatGuy:

This is from pax last year. If you want in on our group registration, see the facebook invite I gave ya.