Fernando Pessoa

To See the Fields and the River

To see the fields and the river
It isn’t enough to open the window.
To see the trees and the flowers
It isn’t enough not to be blind.
It is also necessary to have no philosophy.
With philosophy, there are no trees, just ideas.
There is only each one of us, like a cave.
There is only a shut window, and the whole world outside,
And a dream of what could be seen if the window were opened,
Which is never what is seen when the window is opened.

I Lie Down in the Grass

I lie down in the grass
And forget all I was taught.
What I was taught never made me any warmer or cooler.
What I was told exists never changed the shape of a thing.
What I was made to see never touched my eyes.
What was pointed out to me was never there: only what was there was there.

This Morning I Went Out Very Early

This morning I went out very early,
Because I woke up even earlier
And had nothing I wanted to do.

I didn’t know which way to go,
But the wind blew hard to one side,
And I followed in the way it pushed me.

So has my life always been, and so would I like it always to be –
I go where the wind takes me and don’t need to think.

Another Day (!!)

Today started out with a bed that I'd just planted last week being flooded by the maintenance guys who were supposed to fix the sprinklers at the hotel. All the new bedding plants floated to the edges, everything was a mess. Instead of doing starting my big project immediately, therefore, I started work an hour early and didn't get to what I was supposed to do today until 11 or so, eyeing the 'high winds and thundershowers in the afternoon' forecast warily all the while.

It was one of those days where I was too busy to think, too busy to track time, I was a good girl and took breaks because I know you gotta if you don't want to crash a couple hours into the afternoon but couldn't actually sit down and eat a solid lunch till 2 cause I was too worried about getting things done.

Throughout the afternoon it got hotter and more oppressive. The rain was coming, it felt like thunder was coming, but it wouldn't break. The air was dead calm even on the 8th floor with nothing between me and the ocean, which is unheard of. Weather that behaves is something to be thankful for -- it let me get a lot more done than I'd hoped -- but when the mist came down over North and West Van, and then the air cooled a little and the first splatters of water started to appear, I was very happy. We never get lead-up to rain like that here, and it was warm. The wind came up like crazy in short gusts, blowing over patio umbrellas and streaming my equipment across the deck. It took another half-hour for rain to start falling, it would have been soft if it hadn't been sideways -- and I was working fast enough that the water was drying basically before I noticed it. When I hit the end of a really physical shift and tip into overtime, or even if I'm doing really heavy work period, my reserves kick in. I've been caring for myself lately, good food, lots of touch, and a fair bit of sleep -- and I had a lot of reserve. You could have used me to heat the convention centre I was working above.

Then I got to do the excitingly symbolic part of my joy, which will only happen more often as summer comes. I got to water plants. In the rain. While water streams down stormdrains around me. Cause people need glass awnings with plants under them. YAY WELL-DESIGNED SYSTEMS!

Picked up a couple bags of sunshine mix with mom afterwards, gave her some bulbs ganked from work in exchange (three garbage bags full! Wasteful industry, this) and came home to poke around the internet, snuggle, and make myself dinner. Tonight I made lamb & mushroom 'souvlaki' (cooked in a wok, greek spiced, super yummy) eaten on corn tortillas (someday I'll get tired of those things), rhubarb and raspberry jam on more corn tortillas, extra dark maple syrup in unsweetened soy milk, and... I'm still hungry and I think I need to cap myself on tortillas, so who knows what I'll have next. If I had bananas I would totally fry them.
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Had some funny okcupid experiences. One boor, one about whom I am cautious, one who seems neat but do I look like I have time? For the record, arguing with me about how much free time I have is a poor tactic on an online dating site. So is asking to get together and see if we have issues. Seriously, folks.

Oh. And I made this. You will either think it is pointless, artsy, or something; or you will understand that this was strong enough for me to stop work and give it to you. This, in a nutshell, is the landscaping industry. That is, this is my work, and I think in symbols:

(Also turn the volume on, I love that sound)