I'm home from school. Too angry to do homework, and no one's home, so it took me a minute or two to figure out what to do. Answer: eat dinner. Maybe that will help.
I'm having one of those days. Well, that's not true-- I'm having one of those evenings. When every day is basically two days long, there's twice as much chance of a clusterfuck occurring and to be honest if you check back with me half an hour after I've eaten it'll probably be okay.
The real problem, with today and with my schedule, is food. I don't have the money to eat out three times a day, and I'm out of the house for between two and three mealtimes. I'm out of the house for long enough that food will go bad over the course of the day-- especially given that the first six hours of the period is spent in an especially warm room, and there's no refrigeration at any point.
My friend Eva suggested a wonderful idea-- I freeze things like soups, and then when I get to school in the evening I microwave them. The freezing should keep them cool enough. I tried that today and, of course-- the microwaves run, but after six minutes nothing was even approaching warm and my break was half over, so no dinner for me.
..and on no dinner, when the iMap government site we're using to do classwork returns me (and one other person) a series of proxy server errors while everyone else loads them up fine, it makes me crazy. The thing never loaded. Three hour class.
...and when my fancy-schmancy supposed-phone-type gadget allows me to recieve 30 emails asking over and over about things I don't have time to deal with right then, but DOES NOT ALLOW ME TO CALL ANGUS because it keeps dropping signal, I just want to kill someone. Anyone will do.
...and then I get home and there are all those little annoying house things, like the dinner from last night that I didn't pack for school didn't get put away and has so gone bad, and someone's left garbage in the middle of the livingroom floor, and it's definitely for the best that Angus isn't still home...
...I just don't know. I had a really rough weekend. I feel better today, I felt okay last night, getting enough sleep makes a difference. I'm still clenching my teeth often enough that my jaw hurts, and it's less that I don't have time for people, though that's true, than that I have patience for the presence of only maybe three or four people that I can think of out of everyone I know.
There's also a looming homework load-- a math quiz tomorrow, a test Friday on thirty or thirty five plants, ID and latin names, my first aid course Saturday. It really gets me to think about what's important.
And this is important. School is important. People I love are important. Exercise is important-- I'm squirrelly enough from all the sitting around that I've started doing pushups again as something I can do in the middle of a floor when no one's looking that's work. Food, much as it would be convenient otherwise, is important. Working is important; I need to feed myself and pay my rent.
Rats- are becoming less important, right now. Breeding is, at least. It's just not a priority, nor is having the number of rats I now do. I will definitely be downsizing over the next two years.
Social events, too, I have always cherry-picked but I'm feeling even more selective about them now. I like my friends because they're smart, they're fun to talk to, they're snuggly and they have sensibilities I like. Sometimes they're funny. Events that don't showcase these attributes, well, what's the point?
Enough. Dinner's ready. I'll worry more about things afterwards-- or not.
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