Something I can work with

Often, when we are setting a boundary, the need for the boundary arises from an emotional experience. And at the same time, boundaries that are built around our emotional, subjective or qualitative experience of something can be hard to maintain because they can be hard to measure in a concrete way.

This means: the need for the boundary arises from an emotional experience, but the boundary itself will be more effective if it’s nestled in a concrete way of measuring its effectiveness.

For example, when I experienced burn-out or exhaustion in jobs I’ve worked in non-profit settings I may crave feeling less tired, to have my labor and time be more appreciated or acknowledged, or to be heard more clearly by the folks I work with and for.

These are all totally valid and healthy needs and they may be hard to manifest if we don’t have a way of measuring them. This can especially be true when our boundary rests up against a system of power, and especially when the person or system in power wants to undermine our perspective of reality.

A solid boundary in this case could be:

“I won’t work hours for which I am not paid.”

OR

“I won’t work with co-workers who won’t use my pronoun.”

OR

“I want my name to appear on this report and not just the name of my superior, because I came up with the ideas he is using here.”

In these examples we can measure how the boundary is working in our lives by being able to see clearly if it is being adhered to.

Okay. This is something I can use to figure out my work situation. Saving for later.

Devotions

Spices. When I was quite young I used to put the powdered cinnamon and cloves from our spice shelf in my tea, or just in water. Now I have a spice shelf that would more reasonably fit into three 1x3' shelves and I love it. Today I decided in the morning I wanted misir wat, so I broke into the niter kibbeh and berbere Josh sent me; this evening I tossed a ceylon cinnamon stick and some smoked cardamom pods into my boba as I was cooking them, and added some jaggery instead of sugar to make the syrup. These were deeply satisfying foods and really were made by the spices in them.

Making bubble tea at home. This has improved my quality of life substantially.

Marked-down stuff at the grocery store. Until the pigs are butchered I'm eating on credit every month because of the feed bill, but one does need to eat things that aren't pork sometimes, thus the grocery store. If I get there at the right time I can get treats.

Not being dizzy and lightheaded even in the sunlight. It's been quite awhile since I didn't have to worry about this, maybe a couple weeks or a month, but I was able to stand and put the towels on the drying line today without a second thought. Whether or not this was the electrolyte supplement, it was great. I made it to the garden several times today too.

My friend-goose. Well, technically this is my other friend-goose; the first is a roman, this one is the twisty goose sitting on her nest in the woodshed/goose shed. She comes out when I feed everyone and follows me around until I hold food for her personally. Today I fed the pigs first, so she followed me to the pigpen and then left; when I brought food out for the birds I took her a bowl of food and a bucket of water right to her nest because I didn't want her to miss dinner. She seemed appreciative, didn't even hiss as I approached the nest.

Line-dried towels. Just as good as line-dried sheets.

Ron's invite to the fall fair, and Corrie's invite to look at her garden "sometime soon". Being actively invited is lovely and makes me feel wanted; it also solves the issue of trying to figure out what to do if Ron, for instance, drives his truck with his dog in it to my house if I invite him by. It's certainly feat or famine for company up here and this weekend seems to be a little bit of feast.

People who think about things and then write about them. I mean, this is the best. Gardening, boundaries and society, whatever, it's all good.

My Whiskeycat, who is sitting with this whiskers tickling my hand as I type right now but is being polite and not headbutting.

My pups, who are being SO GOOD about the driveway and the gate when I open it to drive through. I've been practicing giving them lots of good attention if they come to me as soon as I get the truck in through the gate, even before I close it, and they're not running down the road at all anymore. Instead they come right to me as soon as I get out of the truck, even Avallu. I think all our stress levels are down and I like snuggling them. They're good pups and we love each other.

My shower. I am sticky and my sheets are almost still clean.

A town small enough to run into friends and chat with them at the grocery store. I enjoy serendipity and spontenaeity.

My baby tomato crosses, which are up: hardin's mini x baby jade, aerogarden "heirloom" x baby jade, baby jade x aerogarden heirloom. Seed leaves only still, but still!

Growing things in so many different ways.

Darkness. It's dark before 10 now, and it's much easier to sleep.

A good well with which to water the garden.

The one gaspe that presented a cob at the top of the stalk, in the tassel, that's emerged and displays a good half of the cob. I don't have the heart to open a cob while they're growing, but this one is sigalling good pollination and good full kernels that will be ready soon. I know they tend to rot in wetter places but this one is going strong so far.

Feeling tired but not completely exhausted. It's a much nicer feeling to want to sleep than wanting to fall over.