It's Morning

[greenstorm]

...and I'll be back to work today. Yesterday I came home from Juggler's and didn't leave the house, and in fact tried not to leave my bed too much. Luckily, my computer's accessible from my bed. I got a bunch of plot-running and just plain RP stuff done. I got my work for the Plant Sale at VanDusen straightened out (I'm there morning/afternoons on Fr 22, Sat 23, and sun 24) and figured out thatI want to be at the betta show and the auction, which means finding a way out there on the 16th and 17th.

I'm still sick, sinus/nose congestion stuff, but the dizzy/weak/nausous feelings are gone. Yay. I hate being sick.

Talked to someone I'd met on the net for a couple of hours via telephone, and then realised I couldn't breathe (choice between mouth for talking and mouth for breathing). It's weird. I still feel really hesitant to contact 'Chris' friends' to talk to - like if they call me it's okay, but I shouldn't call them because I don't have a 'connection' anymore. Actually, if I think about it, that's a more general feeling. I feel hesitant to contact Kynnin and Juggler, too, who are dating my ex, Mouse. It's like there's some sort of territoriality...

Anyhow, it did help me not get out of bed yesterday.

Socially, I am waiting for the 16th, when people are done exams. :>

I love my rats a lot. The other day Sweetie grabbed Caramel by the side (teeth in fur) and started pulling him around the cage. He sort of sat there and allowed it, resignedly.

I don't know if it's a curse or a blessing that my grief cycle is so long. Certainly, I have time to get rooted in my new life before the changes hit me.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I had to part ways with that crowd under similar circumstances (although the breakup was not with Chris). It's a weird feeling, not wanting to get to close because you don't want to intrude on that person and/or their grieving, but still missing all of the people that you have come to know who were also their friends. Anyways, I don't know if this helps much, but I know how you feel.

I hope you don't mind if I still post here once in a while, I like the way you think (and hence enjoy reading your journal) and sometimes it inspires me to speak up.

Take care.

-Vanessa

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I don't intend to part ways with some of em. In this case it's more insecurity on my part, I think.

Anyhow, no, I never mind comments that are (chuckle) respectful in tone. (Was gonna write, I never mind comments, but s'not true).