Consent

[greenstorm]

The Ethical Slut on consent:

An active collaboration for the benefit, well-being, and pleasure of all persons concerned.

That's important.

Comments

[breklor.livejournal.com]

I'm sure by now you've heard the Holy Trinity of BDSM:

Safe, Sane and Consensual.

Yeah.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I really like the definition. It leaves no room for ill-informed, grudging stuff. :)

[breklor.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear.

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

True: tho, for me, the problem always lies in: how do we ENSURE consensuality? I tend to fall on my default "personal responsability ethos" of we just ensure that WE are acting in the spirit of informed consent, and try to let our partner(s) know that it's their responsability to ensure that they are, as well. (Meaning that, IMNSHO, that no one is forcing themselves, informed themselves, dealt with any doubts/fears/miscommunications etc, done all their checking in...) Alas, however, this system is never perfect: if only we had "Not on the same page" detectors ;)

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I really, really do understand what you're worried about. It made me think, though, that this is the thing:

In any relationship involving people, there's no 'sure'. You really can't ever be sure about anything. All there is, is trust. So you can't ensure anything, you can't make it sure. What you can do is build your trust with the person to the place where the possibility of a problem is low enough compared to the payoff that you get that you're okay with it.

Re:

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

Ahh, that trust thing ;)