Aiee!

[greenstorm]

So I used to be the dramatic, passionate, well-spoken one, an infusion of exotic juice into people's lives. That caused too much drama, so I stopped.

Now am I reinventing myself as the maintenanceless one? Is my attraction supposed to be that I don't throw tantrums, require upkeep, don't throw the fits that women are prone to, am always reasonable? Is this an image I'm suddenly trying to project to keep people adhered to me because I think it's a commodity low in supply right now?

Comments

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

identity maintenance: fuck it.

be whatever you are. people will always slot you into a role, and either it'll fit, or you'll eventually need to live beyond it, and confuse them.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

For me, it's always: how do I tell if I'm doing 'a role' or if I'm doing 'me'?

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

Roles get constricting after a while, and drain your energy.

I tend to play 'the nice one', simply because I'm nicer than whatever else is around. (I find this frightening, b/c I know MUCH nicer people than myself.) Then, there are days when I realise I need to be demanding, uncompromising, selfish and/or aloof: I sometimes feel some restraint and role conflict, but then it's like taking off too-tight clothes.

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

also, people change and roles change. I used to be the passionate, spontaneous, creative, sexy, outrageous one. Now I'm the sensible, relativistic, empathetic, 'helping' one.

I'm prolly a blend of the two, but this is how I see others treating me.

[d-corvin.livejournal.com]

If that's how you can be happy, then sure. But I've always liked you because you're so uniquely you. Definitely not because you were reasonable. ;)

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Very smooth.

[breklor.livejournal.com]

I've tried taking the maintenanceless approach with mixed results. I'd say the peace of mind that comes with it more than balances the failures, though, so all things considered I recommend it as a continuing approach. You do have to be prepared to ask for stuff every now and again when you really need it, though...

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

"You do have to be prepared to ask for stuff every now and again when you really need it, though..."

yeup.

[breklor.livejournal.com]

as long as you do it only when you need it, it's actually got the fairly keen effect of making us (your friends) feel *good* about ourselves, so you're in an inobvious way doing us as much a favour as we're doing you.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

So odd. Adrian and I were having a conversation about this last night - part of what he loves about me *is* the fact that I'm (usually) low maintenance. Point is, it's not something I work at doing - it's my default setting from childhood.

Not always a good thing - it can keep me from stating my needs in an attempt not to rock the boat. I really didn't want to rock that boat with my mother.

[breklor.livejournal.com]

Low maintenance is good. Zero maintenance can be a little scary.