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greenstormSo sex is definitely in 'hobby-space' for me, along with my couple of other major hobbies: roleplaying, rats, reading/language, and of course gardening.
(You know, in my cellphone address book, about 60-65% of the people listed have names that begin with A, B, C, or D. Now my hobbies are the 'three Rs')
What's this mean? It doesn't mean I do sex all the time, or with just anyone, just like I'm pretty selective about roleplay partners and locales. It doesn't mean I think of sex as a trivial thing, as everything on the list above has pretty deep spiritual/identity ties with me on some level or another.
It does mean I like to learn about the subject, both in intellectual and experiential ways. It means I spend a significant amount of time preparing for, analysing, and engaging in sex of various kinds. It means that while sex might be something I do when I'm bored, to pass the time, that every sexual experience for me is part of a coherent piece of sex-thought in my head.
One of the weird things about sex vs most of my other hobbies is that sex is better with other people, and my own personal definition either involves other people or classifies it under 'research pertaining to-'. As distinct from roleplaying, though, sex has a bunch of societal weirdness attached to it where it's not just a thing people do-- and it's a thing people only talk about in a very specific context.
Another thing about sex is that there are a number of issues-- emotional, experiential, and physical safety issues --that REALLY make selection of partners picky. Roleplay partners have a much larger number of 'bad facets' to them without making roleplay bad, uncomfortable, or dangerous.
I'm an obsessive sort of person, in general. When I like something, I wanna do a lot of it, right now. With reading, my rat-babies, or gardening, I can pretty much always do *something* associated with the thing when I want to, even if it's just researching books to read, looking longingly at tomato pictures, or petting a sleeping baby. With roleplay, even though I need other people, there's pretty much always someone on Chia and if not I can make characters, work on storyline refinements, find some roleplay forums and discuss playability vs realism in female medieval roles, etc.
With sex, when something like ejaculation or BDSM or lactation or strap-ons becomes interesting to me, I can talk about it in a pretty abstract form on lj, and I have one or two (busy!) RL friends that I can discuss stuff like that with. At the moment I have one partner who I can play with stuff like that with. I don't, though, tend to have the option to either play repeatedly with a concept for a week or two straight (partner's availability is limited) or discuss it ad nauseum in my ever-listening lj because everyone knows who my partner is, and it violates that person's privacy.
This means I can't work off my obsession, and so I sort of get more interested and then frustrated by the entire topic. You know how some weeks I post 'my rats are so cute' sixty times? That's what I wanna do.
Anyhow, just thinkin'.
(You know, in my cellphone address book, about 60-65% of the people listed have names that begin with A, B, C, or D. Now my hobbies are the 'three Rs')
What's this mean? It doesn't mean I do sex all the time, or with just anyone, just like I'm pretty selective about roleplay partners and locales. It doesn't mean I think of sex as a trivial thing, as everything on the list above has pretty deep spiritual/identity ties with me on some level or another.
It does mean I like to learn about the subject, both in intellectual and experiential ways. It means I spend a significant amount of time preparing for, analysing, and engaging in sex of various kinds. It means that while sex might be something I do when I'm bored, to pass the time, that every sexual experience for me is part of a coherent piece of sex-thought in my head.
One of the weird things about sex vs most of my other hobbies is that sex is better with other people, and my own personal definition either involves other people or classifies it under 'research pertaining to-'. As distinct from roleplaying, though, sex has a bunch of societal weirdness attached to it where it's not just a thing people do-- and it's a thing people only talk about in a very specific context.
Another thing about sex is that there are a number of issues-- emotional, experiential, and physical safety issues --that REALLY make selection of partners picky. Roleplay partners have a much larger number of 'bad facets' to them without making roleplay bad, uncomfortable, or dangerous.
I'm an obsessive sort of person, in general. When I like something, I wanna do a lot of it, right now. With reading, my rat-babies, or gardening, I can pretty much always do *something* associated with the thing when I want to, even if it's just researching books to read, looking longingly at tomato pictures, or petting a sleeping baby. With roleplay, even though I need other people, there's pretty much always someone on Chia and if not I can make characters, work on storyline refinements, find some roleplay forums and discuss playability vs realism in female medieval roles, etc.
With sex, when something like ejaculation or BDSM or lactation or strap-ons becomes interesting to me, I can talk about it in a pretty abstract form on lj, and I have one or two (busy!) RL friends that I can discuss stuff like that with. At the moment I have one partner who I can play with stuff like that with. I don't, though, tend to have the option to either play repeatedly with a concept for a week or two straight (partner's availability is limited) or discuss it ad nauseum in my ever-listening lj because everyone knows who my partner is, and it violates that person's privacy.
This means I can't work off my obsession, and so I sort of get more interested and then frustrated by the entire topic. You know how some weeks I post 'my rats are so cute' sixty times? That's what I wanna do.
Anyhow, just thinkin'.
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