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greenstormI've been defining my boundaries in various areas lately. F'rinstance, Juggler's way more paranoid about safe-sex stuff than I am, so I'd just been following his stuff for a long time, but recently I wrote up a list about where I am on that sort of thing.
Administrative stuff on Chia has been eased a bit as I set boundaries around how much 'staff' stuff I'll do as a 'friend'.
Work's more comfortable as I decide how many hours next week I'll work maximum.
Socialising is better as I use instinct and common sense to choose the events I wanna go to and then stick to those.
I notice that if I decide how I want stuff, whether or not it's necessary to know right then, I get into a much better mindspace around it.
Some statements/whatever around relationships, some a little silly:
o No relationships with auto-veto beyond the first six months.
o No new cap-R Relationships three months or less after the past one has ended.
o No one who's not willing to come to my house sometimes.
o No one with untreated mental illnesses (not necessarily medicated).
o No one who's free five or more nights per week on average.
o No one who won't or can't use a condom but has a cock.
o No first-time-with-girls.
o No one who lives with their parents.
o No one who's never held a firm job.
o No live-ins ever without absolute complete free use of the house for me, incl. for poly stuff.
o No one who won't call me back reliably.
Man, it's like being two and discovering the word 'no' all over again.
Administrative stuff on Chia has been eased a bit as I set boundaries around how much 'staff' stuff I'll do as a 'friend'.
Work's more comfortable as I decide how many hours next week I'll work maximum.
Socialising is better as I use instinct and common sense to choose the events I wanna go to and then stick to those.
I notice that if I decide how I want stuff, whether or not it's necessary to know right then, I get into a much better mindspace around it.
Some statements/whatever around relationships, some a little silly:
o No relationships with auto-veto beyond the first six months.
o No new cap-R Relationships three months or less after the past one has ended.
o No one who's not willing to come to my house sometimes.
o No one with untreated mental illnesses (not necessarily medicated).
o No one who's free five or more nights per week on average.
o No one who won't or can't use a condom but has a cock.
o No first-time-with-girls.
o No one who lives with their parents.
o No one who's never held a firm job.
o No live-ins ever without absolute complete free use of the house for me, incl. for poly stuff.
o No one who won't call me back reliably.
Man, it's like being two and discovering the word 'no' all over again.
