Inside You...
Jun. 27th, 2005 06:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstorm...the time moves and she don't fade away, the ghost in you, she don't fade.
And love will not fade away, and love love love, will not fade away.
But anyhow.
I notice I'm ritualising this dressing-up stuff a lot. It's fun. When I was little, my parents had to chase me around the apartment to get me dressed; it used to take about an hour to get me presentable. I've never been much of a clothing person.
Now I find this dressing-up thing a lot of fun, in the proper context. I'm a symbol geek, and this is a form of symbolism I can play with and think about without bogging myself down (behavioural symbolism makes me literally nuts). It's a really powerful thing to be able to control your own presentation.
Here I have a presentation of myself into a specific sexualised environment, and man, it's cool. The different routes are all very tempting, for various reasons, and I really wanna sit down and talk with someone about the possibilities. I was trying to explain to Juggler, f'rinstance, why it would be really cool to go with naked genetalia/breasts but a mask on, either really blatantly naked genetalia (crotchless body stocking type dealie) or just, well, undressed. It's taking that facelessness/objectification/sexualisation that happens in our culture and making it *mine* and putting the control of it in *my hands*, which feels great. It's a big statement to the world along the lines of: you made your bed, now lie in it; you don't get *me*, my face, the seat of my personality, what do you think of the rest now?
Hm, none of this is quite coming out right.
Meanwhile, boys' panties (everyone wants me to call them underwear instead of panties, because 'boys don't wear panties. Well, pfah!) are a kind of an obvious gender statement, but one that I love making. It feels good for me, psychically, to wear guys' clothing.
I could just look pretty - black dress, boots, lalalala. I don't mind that. But... there is such potential here.
Bah.
And love will not fade away, and love love love, will not fade away.
But anyhow.
I notice I'm ritualising this dressing-up stuff a lot. It's fun. When I was little, my parents had to chase me around the apartment to get me dressed; it used to take about an hour to get me presentable. I've never been much of a clothing person.
Now I find this dressing-up thing a lot of fun, in the proper context. I'm a symbol geek, and this is a form of symbolism I can play with and think about without bogging myself down (behavioural symbolism makes me literally nuts). It's a really powerful thing to be able to control your own presentation.
Here I have a presentation of myself into a specific sexualised environment, and man, it's cool. The different routes are all very tempting, for various reasons, and I really wanna sit down and talk with someone about the possibilities. I was trying to explain to Juggler, f'rinstance, why it would be really cool to go with naked genetalia/breasts but a mask on, either really blatantly naked genetalia (crotchless body stocking type dealie) or just, well, undressed. It's taking that facelessness/objectification/sexualisation that happens in our culture and making it *mine* and putting the control of it in *my hands*, which feels great. It's a big statement to the world along the lines of: you made your bed, now lie in it; you don't get *me*, my face, the seat of my personality, what do you think of the rest now?
Hm, none of this is quite coming out right.
Meanwhile, boys' panties (everyone wants me to call them underwear instead of panties, because 'boys don't wear panties. Well, pfah!) are a kind of an obvious gender statement, but one that I love making. It feels good for me, psychically, to wear guys' clothing.
I could just look pretty - black dress, boots, lalalala. I don't mind that. But... there is such potential here.
Bah.
