Free Falling

[greenstorm]

Now I'm home. I walked here from the skytrain, a half-hour walk, in the warm evening, and I beat the bus. There was a near-dead raccoon along the sidewalk, blinking a little bit and breathing shallowly, and if I'd had the equipment and/or knowledge I would have helped it out of its misery- a car had evidently hit it, and there wasn't much time left.

Oddly, I was gardening for a client tonight and saw another raccoon, a young one, lively and curious, who came very close to watch me working in the dusk. I don't know why people don't keep raccoons as pets.

There was also a dead crow on the way back, but it was very dead, and so not of concern. There are a lot of crows in my neighborhood, sometimes it feels like an omen.

My life is catching up with me now, as I've said before. I've had my breathing space, longer than I've ever had, and now I need to get back to living. Oh, man, how am I gonna do this again? I've gone soft from coasting, I can't remember how to deal with the skinned knees and elbows that life gives you when you're working hard at it.

What are the things I need to do, livingwise?

I need to resolve things with Kynnin.

I need to resolve the work situation, which includes looking into the apprenticeship next year, following up my job offer down here, and making plans to turn the business over to Dawn or else to get out from under it another way.

I need to get my dating situation resolved with Juggler.

I need to finish the citizenship business.

Four things, there, to do. That's not so many, when I look at it this way.

I have more to say, though. I've lived a lot since last time I've posted. This sounds odd to say, but it's true. I have, for instance, started bleeding in a good way-- I was on depo provera, a hormonal birth control shot, which stopped my periods. I was on that for about three years, and I've been off it for one. This means my hormonal cycles are maybe starting to settle into normality again, and that's good-- I went off it because of the mood issues. To quote Juggler, "I'm a woman now." Snerk. But it has been awhile, and it feels good.

I've also realised that I'm not kinky as a side-dish to stuff, but that I am in fact probably weird enough sexually to limit intense dating to someone willing to take a cane to my backside from time to time. That's probably in the core list of 'things I need in an SO'. I realise I have a list of things I don't want back there on my journal somewhere, but there are definitely positive qualities that are important too -- communication has to be an active goal, I need to get caned sometimes, we both need to take custody of our own emotional polyamorousness (physical transmissibility is forever, emotional mistakes are part of the package), this person needs a life of their own and interests that are different from mine, we need to find each other attractive, we need to laugh together, we need to be happily silent together, they need to be okay with rats in the bed once in awhile.

Er, which is a long digression while I was trying to say: canes are yes.

My vacation time is coming up, a little this weekend with Juggler, a little next weekend with Folk Fest (just me all alone, scary!?). You know, there are grown women who have never gone camping alone. Soon, I will not be one of them. Well, 'camping' alone, but whatever.

This weekend we're gonna try to take the Zodiac to Bowen island or up Indian Arm, I'm gonna meet up with Trevor, and other stuff may or may not happen.

I actually actively miss (in the non-negative sense, maybe 'want to hang out with' is more accurate) some people. I wish, particularly, I had some time to hang out with Tyler, to head to the beach with Beth again, and that Devon had time to hang out with me ;). I'm filled with a sort of mystical wonder that there are so many cool people in the world.

Enough of that, though, I'm gushing. I need dinner, then to bed and up early in the morning to get work out of the way before vacation begins. Be well, y'all.

Comments

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

you coming over tommorow? 10-noon, then I leave.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Ack, I can't before noon. I didn't realise you left so early in the day (shoulda, didn't. Sigh). At the very last I will pickup camping stove from you during the week after that though, and we will chat a little.

[wik.livejournal.com]

Raccoons are like monkeys. They make great pets for the first third of their life, but then for the other part, they get really mean and nasty and bite-y. Crows, however, make decent pets as long as a deep emotional attachment isn't necessary.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Huh. I've seen someone with a pigeon on his shoulder, and someone with a crow. It's just that the raccoons looked so friendly and curious and amusing-- well, the one did.

[quazar3.livejournal.com]

I love raccoons.
I have too many cats rightnow to get one, but I entend to later in life.
Bitchy or not. I like bitchy creatures. It reminds me that they still have soul.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I'll have to come pet it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

Silly girl.
Camping with a group of fellow 'fest' attenders in a public place with running water, and where you're being dropped and picked up doesn't count as 'alone.' You make it sound scary - I think you're going to be too busy enjoying the ability to wander and experience different music and vendors to notice that you're alone.

This, from she who has most definitely camped alone, and thought "I'm really fucked if something goes wrong." Camping alone isn't the safest thing to do.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

It's as alone as I've ever camped.

I think it'll be more alone with the specific company at the campsite.

I'll notice that I'm alone. I don't think it will hurt me to be.

[legacyofty.livejournal.com]

I find it sad that we live within walking distance and we hardly hang out, but that's what happens when I'm a night owl and you're a morning dove.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

You need a cell.

[legacyofty.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes I do.

[matt79.livejournal.com]

I will find more time in the back of my sock drawer one of these days, I can just feel it.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Another inch further back, a little to the right, and you'll be able to grab it...