Love, Etc

[greenstorm]

And look, I'm back up again. I have been since about 4am this morning, when I went to sleep as the black sky was just fading into blue velvet outside my window. I woke up happy, and a surprise visit from Juggler only made that better (he's never done that before, he felt weird with it, yay Juggler!). Then I went on to work, which was awesome, and my client was nice and chatty-friendly, and then VanDusen, which was ridiculously busy and I got to sit at the main desk and be totally competent directing people to the tea ceremony. A stop at a dollar store for clothespins (!!!!!) and some groceries later I'm home, and thinking a bit.

First: the NRE experience is pretty much exactly like an 'episode' for me, and an 'episode' feels a lot like what I've heard a panic attack described as, if a little less severe possibly. Bowels knot, heartbeat really fast and too hard, sometimes my lungs are straitjacketed, sometimes there are sharp stomach pains. I feel vibratory. This may better explain my 'I don't like NRE' statement.

Second: Kink stuff definitely triggers my romantic/emotional connection stuff. There's nothing like it for that. It seems to be more appropriate romantic/emotional stuff than the crushes I've had in the past. Romantic feelings aren't quite like NRE for me, they're lower in my stomach (right above the public bone, and right between the breasts) and they're not as frantic. It feels good. It feels good, too, not to attach this to weird societal norms. It's 'feeling romantic' not 'we need to get married' or whatever, and that allows me to enjoy it rather than stressing over it.

Third: I can have lust-type crushes without getting emotionally entangled now. They're totally enjoyable. See: enjoying rather than stressing.

Fourth: Pray, or whatever you do, for the world to be how it should be on behalf of someone I know. Please.

Fifth: Yay more kinky shit on the horizon! I wanna post pictures of my bruises, but I realise that's a bad idea on a lot of levels-- you guys won't have the same warm, fond attachment to them that I do, for one, and that's a bit of a sucky thing to inflict. Also, I have no digital camera. Also, it's kinda a weird thing to do. If anyone wants to see them, though, lemme know. ;P

Comments

[matt79.livejournal.com]

Okay, I feel dumb. What's NRE mean?

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

New Relationship Energy. Poly term for total loss of decision-making ability coupled with the big dumb grin that we sometimes get when we're first attracted to someone. Often used in the context of, 'you need to be careful not to neglect your longer-term partners during NRE with a new person' or 'you really shouldn't get married and move in together until NRE has worn off'.

[matt79.livejournal.com]

Ah, NRE. I get it. *nods stupidly, grinning*

[matt79.livejournal.com]

(Good thing I don't have any longer-term partners right now! Hee!)

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

If you enjoy that sort of thing, if you and your long-term partner get into it at the same time, or if it just works, it's great. It tends to make me feel sick.

I do, however, love to live it vicariously.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Muahaha!

[darthparadox.livejournal.com]

Yyyeah. This is pretty much why I was engaged. But we got our heads together in time to avoid any long-term mistakes.

It was a hell of a learning experience, though, and I think I know how to manage it next time.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

If you want pictures, however, I have a camera and am more than willing to take pictures of such a thing. In fact, I've a bit of a history of it.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

So I understand.

[porphyre.livejournal.com]

*grins* Funny the things life hands a person.

[cz_unit]

*nod* Yeah, I understand the NRE thing. Properly managed it can be really nice, and with the right type of LDR plus the Brigadoon syndrome it never really has to go away. Well, the good part where you're all happy to see the other person and stuff. The bit about ignoring the rest of the world is something I try to do without.

As for the bruises, sounds like you had a really good time. Always nice to have some memories of a good weekend... I'm glad to hear it.

CZ

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Yes, and it doesn't even need to be a LDR for it to work that way, I think. Just... seperate enough, in between, and busy enough.

That's so sweet. Thank you. You were actually the person I had in mind as being disturbed.

[inri33.livejournal.com]

also, i think i gave you my number but you did not reciprocate with yours

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Don't you have it?

[inri33.livejournal.com]

nay

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

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