More Writing.
Nov. 19th, 2005 12:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormI haven't been writing on here lately so much. I mean, yes, just recently, but not so much before that.
I find in myself, suddenly, an enormous well of words to describe myself. They used to be there, and I would use them constantly. The little narrator in my head is gone, now, though. Always, always, always, as far back as I can remember, whenever I was doing something there would be that little voice narrating, choosing the right words to describe what was happening, choosing a point of view ot speak from. That's gone now. Maybe it's because my mind isn't so conditioned to that form of words right now, because I'm not reading so very much anymore. The two-novel-a-day habit has to fade sometime, right? And now it's gone.
There are still words, though.
I exist more than I make myself to exist.
In the last week or so, my skin has been more perceptive than usual. It's been a bit long for it to be a cycle-related thing, but here's how it goes. Before, when I touched someone or was touched by someone, or some/thing/, I was more aware of the idea of the touch. I felt the thing, and it translated in my brain into 'I am being touched'. Now I've got out of the abstract of it, and the touch sort of goes straight into my awareness, unfiltered, as maybe 'rough/scratchy/warm' without necessarily the conceptualisation of it.
It's neat.
I find in myself, suddenly, an enormous well of words to describe myself. They used to be there, and I would use them constantly. The little narrator in my head is gone, now, though. Always, always, always, as far back as I can remember, whenever I was doing something there would be that little voice narrating, choosing the right words to describe what was happening, choosing a point of view ot speak from. That's gone now. Maybe it's because my mind isn't so conditioned to that form of words right now, because I'm not reading so very much anymore. The two-novel-a-day habit has to fade sometime, right? And now it's gone.
There are still words, though.
I exist more than I make myself to exist.
In the last week or so, my skin has been more perceptive than usual. It's been a bit long for it to be a cycle-related thing, but here's how it goes. Before, when I touched someone or was touched by someone, or some/thing/, I was more aware of the idea of the touch. I felt the thing, and it translated in my brain into 'I am being touched'. Now I've got out of the abstract of it, and the touch sort of goes straight into my awareness, unfiltered, as maybe 'rough/scratchy/warm' without necessarily the conceptualisation of it.
It's neat.
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no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 07:01 am (UTC)