Music: Pachelbel's Canon in D
Aug. 25th, 2003 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormThis piece always sounds like it should have words, just so you can sing to it.
I'm very tired. I've done fairly major processing in all my relationships lately -- the one ended when the Exotic left for the airport and that kicked off a weekend of consecutive dissonance with everyone. It all got resolved fairly quickly, and it was only to be connected (conflict and resolution tend to be part of my reconnecting process) but it was draining. Hopefully now it's over and I don't have to worry about it for... well, at least till next weekend? ;)
I've been through some pretty significant emotional extremes lately from which I haven't had a chance to recover much, right back as far as being sick and not knowing what was up with that to the stuff this weekend. I'm stressed and it's showing up in my body, in cold sores and this dead-tired feeling and in my mind, in this indecisiveness and in my lack of confidence in good outcomes.
I need to rest for a bit. REM concert next weekend, maybe I'll try some rollerblading with the Juggler, I'll go out for T with the SO, I'll stay in for T with TOW. I'll keep renewing my ties, I'll keep communicating both with them and with myself, I'll remember to take time for things that I like that are important to me.
But oh! Right now I just need to do something mindless. I'm tired enough that I have that frightening feeling where if you lie down you think your heart will stop forever. I need to sit up until I get enough energy to nap, if that makes sense.
While I'm at that I'll worry about the big fig tree, which had some root damage when I transplanted it (deliberately inflicted) and is yellowing at the leaves a bit. I should cut them back to reduce the moisture expenditure as it grows new roots.
And I'll worry about the lucky bamboo that locke got me for my birthday, which is in the trunk of TOW and the Juggler's car so I couldn't bring it home (no keys to their car, they were gone when we left). Hopefully someone will bring it in and water it until next weekend (TOW? Please?).
Estrellada also gave me a late birthday present, a teapot and, get this, a stack of old dishes to throw and break. I didn't realise until she gave them to me how much I actually am feeling stressed and need something like that. Very cool. Cool, too, to talk to her -- I should try and get to it more often.
I also think I now own at least five teapots. I need to have a tea party or something -- five kinds of tea at once!
It's good to be home. It's good to live, to do this stuff that I do, even when it's hard and tiring. It's worth it, you know? I'm slowly cutting the stuff that isn't worth it and maximising the returns on the effort I expend. It's good. Good, good, and better when I've had some rest. Care, and be well.
I'm very tired. I've done fairly major processing in all my relationships lately -- the one ended when the Exotic left for the airport and that kicked off a weekend of consecutive dissonance with everyone. It all got resolved fairly quickly, and it was only to be connected (conflict and resolution tend to be part of my reconnecting process) but it was draining. Hopefully now it's over and I don't have to worry about it for... well, at least till next weekend? ;)
I've been through some pretty significant emotional extremes lately from which I haven't had a chance to recover much, right back as far as being sick and not knowing what was up with that to the stuff this weekend. I'm stressed and it's showing up in my body, in cold sores and this dead-tired feeling and in my mind, in this indecisiveness and in my lack of confidence in good outcomes.
I need to rest for a bit. REM concert next weekend, maybe I'll try some rollerblading with the Juggler, I'll go out for T with the SO, I'll stay in for T with TOW. I'll keep renewing my ties, I'll keep communicating both with them and with myself, I'll remember to take time for things that I like that are important to me.
But oh! Right now I just need to do something mindless. I'm tired enough that I have that frightening feeling where if you lie down you think your heart will stop forever. I need to sit up until I get enough energy to nap, if that makes sense.
While I'm at that I'll worry about the big fig tree, which had some root damage when I transplanted it (deliberately inflicted) and is yellowing at the leaves a bit. I should cut them back to reduce the moisture expenditure as it grows new roots.
And I'll worry about the lucky bamboo that locke got me for my birthday, which is in the trunk of TOW and the Juggler's car so I couldn't bring it home (no keys to their car, they were gone when we left). Hopefully someone will bring it in and water it until next weekend (TOW? Please?).
Estrellada also gave me a late birthday present, a teapot and, get this, a stack of old dishes to throw and break. I didn't realise until she gave them to me how much I actually am feeling stressed and need something like that. Very cool. Cool, too, to talk to her -- I should try and get to it more often.
I also think I now own at least five teapots. I need to have a tea party or something -- five kinds of tea at once!
It's good to be home. It's good to live, to do this stuff that I do, even when it's hard and tiring. It's worth it, you know? I'm slowly cutting the stuff that isn't worth it and maximising the returns on the effort I expend. It's good. Good, good, and better when I've had some rest. Care, and be well.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 02:28 am (UTC)Write some!
no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 11:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 01:22 pm (UTC)Mmm, five kinds of tea!
Date: 2003-08-26 08:32 am (UTC)Re: Mmm, five kinds of tea!
Date: 2003-08-26 11:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-27 04:25 am (UTC)yes, we should *talk* more often. I do think we exhausted our electronic communication ages ago, even LJ is just up-date-athon. being with you works better. less gets lost.