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greenstormI'm awake! Count the hours, children!
I actually feel really good. Go figure.
I wanted to write about something I do that's technically very kinky. It's not sex, but it may weird you out, so here are some of my thoughts on my first play piercing experience from the other day-- an awesome experience, btw.
So I've been pierced twice now, once for the bridge piercing and once in play, with thin sterile needles and gloves while I was cradled between Graham and Tillie. I'd been wanting to try it again since the first time, because the first experience was so intensely awesome, and Tillie is experienced at this sort of thing. At one point reasonably recently Anthony had been over, and I co-topped piercing him, which basically meant a lot of snuggling and such while Tillie did the actual needles. So, the other night I was like okay, Tillie, it's time.
She got out the needles, rubbing alcohol, needle disposal case, etc. When I was ready (do it as I'm breathing out I said) we put two needles in, one at a time, shallowly through the flesh, one right above each nipple. Graham held me. They both wore gloves, and played with them a little bit. I asked them to spin the needles in place a bit, after a bit, and they did. They came out after a little while-- my time sense was distorted, so I couldn't guess after how long.
The feeling of being pierced was exactly the same as it was the first time. This is where I will fumble for words.
My body becomes a conduit, a lightning rod. It's like being struck by the universe, opening up and having it burn through me and onwards as it goes about its business. It is a penetration by the exterior, by everything out there. The top of my head comes off-- Devon said that once, and I never really understood what he meant. Now I understand. The top of my head comes off, and everything outside pours in and past.
When I learned Reiki, I was told you're like a straw channeling energy. Some will remain in you, like the residue on a straw after you've drunk, but you aren't using your own energy. This feels literally like that. I'm fumbling for words here, watch me flounder. I'm trying to say that this isn't an experience between me and the piercer. This is an experience between me and what I consider to be the divine.
It's been repeated twice so far, and is the most repeatable experience in my life. That is, my response in these two situations has been more similar than my response to any other two similar situations.
My 'religious' practice (spiritual practice, where religious is institutionalised and spiritual is personal? Dunno, it all sounds so flaky) is based around mindfulness: mindfulness of one's place in the universe, awareness of both connection and seperation, basically I revere an awareness of various senses of proportion. So, I'm not saying 'dude, I find God in a needle'. I guess what I'm saying is: I've gone somewhere, and it is good.
This is something to be done carefully, to be done in select company, but to be done again sometime. This is the time when, if you are near me and it is done, you will see god looking out of my eyes.
It fades slowly, after first a head rush and then a stomach kick hits me. I get cold, a little. I say, take these out now. And then it's over.
This isn't my skin falling off. This is me keeping my shape and the universe falling into me.
Morning Music: http://s16.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2TORKOIJLIEAE27WBJZWOZC4ZA
I actually feel really good. Go figure.
I wanted to write about something I do that's technically very kinky. It's not sex, but it may weird you out, so here are some of my thoughts on my first play piercing experience from the other day-- an awesome experience, btw.
So I've been pierced twice now, once for the bridge piercing and once in play, with thin sterile needles and gloves while I was cradled between Graham and Tillie. I'd been wanting to try it again since the first time, because the first experience was so intensely awesome, and Tillie is experienced at this sort of thing. At one point reasonably recently Anthony had been over, and I co-topped piercing him, which basically meant a lot of snuggling and such while Tillie did the actual needles. So, the other night I was like okay, Tillie, it's time.
She got out the needles, rubbing alcohol, needle disposal case, etc. When I was ready (do it as I'm breathing out I said) we put two needles in, one at a time, shallowly through the flesh, one right above each nipple. Graham held me. They both wore gloves, and played with them a little bit. I asked them to spin the needles in place a bit, after a bit, and they did. They came out after a little while-- my time sense was distorted, so I couldn't guess after how long.
The feeling of being pierced was exactly the same as it was the first time. This is where I will fumble for words.
My body becomes a conduit, a lightning rod. It's like being struck by the universe, opening up and having it burn through me and onwards as it goes about its business. It is a penetration by the exterior, by everything out there. The top of my head comes off-- Devon said that once, and I never really understood what he meant. Now I understand. The top of my head comes off, and everything outside pours in and past.
When I learned Reiki, I was told you're like a straw channeling energy. Some will remain in you, like the residue on a straw after you've drunk, but you aren't using your own energy. This feels literally like that. I'm fumbling for words here, watch me flounder. I'm trying to say that this isn't an experience between me and the piercer. This is an experience between me and what I consider to be the divine.
It's been repeated twice so far, and is the most repeatable experience in my life. That is, my response in these two situations has been more similar than my response to any other two similar situations.
My 'religious' practice (spiritual practice, where religious is institutionalised and spiritual is personal? Dunno, it all sounds so flaky) is based around mindfulness: mindfulness of one's place in the universe, awareness of both connection and seperation, basically I revere an awareness of various senses of proportion. So, I'm not saying 'dude, I find God in a needle'. I guess what I'm saying is: I've gone somewhere, and it is good.
This is something to be done carefully, to be done in select company, but to be done again sometime. This is the time when, if you are near me and it is done, you will see god looking out of my eyes.
It fades slowly, after first a head rush and then a stomach kick hits me. I get cold, a little. I say, take these out now. And then it's over.
This isn't my skin falling off. This is me keeping my shape and the universe falling into me.
Morning Music: http://s16.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2TORKOIJLIEAE27WBJZWOZC4ZA
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-10 06:24 pm (UTC)Glad you understand what I meant, now. It's so hard to explain with words.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-10 07:06 pm (UTC)We are of the world.
Glad we can be the instruments to help each other there.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-11 01:57 am (UTC)Ouch man, I can`t even deal with reading about it without cringing. I guess I`m just not a religious person (hint: who sticks needles in himself). Sounds like cool, though, and I guess there are pains that I do like. I certainly never feel like the universe when I`m being pained, though. Different, water-brother, we will call this different.
z.
.
Date: 2005-12-11 04:46 pm (UTC)Estrellada's first comment caught my attention though. "We are of the world." You've never minded simply being told part of the thoughts running through my head, so...
It brought to mind a Scripture passage:
14 "I have given them Thy Word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
15 I pray not that Thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
17 Sanctify them through Thy truth: Thy Word is truth."
- John 17:14-17
No comment attached to that either.