To Cupped Hands.
Dec. 27th, 2005 07:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormGood-bye, Caramel. Thank you. I'm glad I took that time for that last game of hide-and-seek with you. Despite all the things I said to you, I'll miss you terribly. No one ever comes back again, I know, but you will be remembered and I will look for that spark in others. I won't take the metal guard off the water bottle, promise. I've never actually held anyone while they died before. I hope it helped. I'll miss you, b-rat.
Merlyn, it was a long run. I'm glad we did it together. I was beginning to think you'd never go, defying statistics the way you did. It makes this harder. You were the best, fearless and smart and loving. You were my shoulderrat. I'm sorry I was so busy near the end. I would have stayed home for the holidays and walked you around if I'd known. You were always so obedient, and so patient with me. Thank you. Kisses, sweet.
Small Rat, I remember the first time. You and your sister were so tiny in the pet store. You would have been two on Feb 11th, imagine that! I wonder if you knew how important you were to me, in those days when I was so worried and didn't realise it, when I thought no one loved me, when there was such a gulf between Kynnin and I? If you two hadn't run all over me, tickling me when I lay on the bed, my life could have been so dark. In the end you two were the primary relationship that I left Kynnin for, the emotional support that no one else would give that allowed me to stop suckling where the well was dry, the snuggling and attention that I needed that he couldn't give me. You were my first babies. Your sister will miss you, even though she has Helen to snuggle her. I'll miss you, but you're sewn up tight in my soul. I'll always tell my kids, 'my first two ratties were named Sweetie and Small Rat, because I decided to name them whatever I called them, and it was a mistake. They had beautiful ruby eyes, and ticklish whiskers, and when they were babies I'd lie naked on the bed when I was sad and they'd run all over me and I'd laugh and everything was okay.' I love you, girlie. I've got my feet under me now. Thank you.
Merlyn, it was a long run. I'm glad we did it together. I was beginning to think you'd never go, defying statistics the way you did. It makes this harder. You were the best, fearless and smart and loving. You were my shoulderrat. I'm sorry I was so busy near the end. I would have stayed home for the holidays and walked you around if I'd known. You were always so obedient, and so patient with me. Thank you. Kisses, sweet.
Small Rat, I remember the first time. You and your sister were so tiny in the pet store. You would have been two on Feb 11th, imagine that! I wonder if you knew how important you were to me, in those days when I was so worried and didn't realise it, when I thought no one loved me, when there was such a gulf between Kynnin and I? If you two hadn't run all over me, tickling me when I lay on the bed, my life could have been so dark. In the end you two were the primary relationship that I left Kynnin for, the emotional support that no one else would give that allowed me to stop suckling where the well was dry, the snuggling and attention that I needed that he couldn't give me. You were my first babies. Your sister will miss you, even though she has Helen to snuggle her. I'll miss you, but you're sewn up tight in my soul. I'll always tell my kids, 'my first two ratties were named Sweetie and Small Rat, because I decided to name them whatever I called them, and it was a mistake. They had beautiful ruby eyes, and ticklish whiskers, and when they were babies I'd lie naked on the bed when I was sad and they'd run all over me and I'd laugh and everything was okay.' I love you, girlie. I've got my feet under me now. Thank you.
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Date: 2005-12-27 03:24 pm (UTC)Chris
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Date: 2005-12-27 03:33 pm (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2005-12-27 03:38 pm (UTC)People have said in the past "well, you could just get another cockatiel". Um no. It's just not the same; things can't be replaced like that.
CZ
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Date: 2005-12-27 05:32 pm (UTC)Oh dear!
Date: 2005-12-27 08:10 pm (UTC)I'm so sorry to hear your ratties passed on. Terrible tragedy!
I'll miss Caramel the most - he's the one who taught me that rats are cool.
May they all dance beneath neverending moonlight.
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Date: 2005-12-27 08:34 pm (UTC)It's good to see you can remember them happily. Keeping in mind the memories of past joy, while they can remind you of how much you miss them, can also help the pain and recovery profoundly. But of course you know this...
Will you be getting more rats? I know they couldn't serve as replacements, but perhaps as something new...
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Date: 2005-12-27 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 01:01 am (UTC)Sad:( they were good rats the little that I knew them- filled with such curiousity- one was at least
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Date: 2005-12-28 07:02 pm (UTC)my condolences.
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Date: 2005-12-28 08:42 pm (UTC)Hope things went well with your mom - I enjoyed meeting her.
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Date: 2005-12-29 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 02:23 am (UTC)Concern
Date: 2005-12-28 09:21 pm (UTC)Do you know why the all died so suddenly?
Re: Concern
Date: 2005-12-29 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-30 12:45 am (UTC)