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greenstormThings are moving at speed, now. At the end of last weekend I felt really burnt out: I'd been doing a ton of relationship processing all weekend but hadn't had much in terms of just relationship 'play'. So I ended up staying here at TOH for the week, house-hunting and sort of hanging out with people here. I miss the SO, but it was a good decision and I got a lot of things I need out of it.
And! In that time I found what is pretty sure to be our next apartment. It's in the heart of the city, so to speak, close to everything and in a very old building. It's not really that cosmetically lovely, but I'm already attaching (and trying to think of what to do to the walls). I'm proud of myself -- I did the searching and the arrangements, with a great deal of support from TOW, but I did do it. It was scary. The SO hasn't actually seen the place yet... it's kind of humbling to be trusted like that.
So, a fair amount of that going on. The Juggler's big into Everquest again, which makes him a little scarce here and there. I was going to talk to him about that, but decided that this week was not for processing. Another time.
It does mean a lot of sitting around with him on one computer, TOW on the other, and me on the carpet reading and singing along to music, or drawing, or whatever. LAid-back casual kind of fun.
I'm also beginning to work some stuff out surrounding the place of group sex in my life. That was something I'd kind of floated along with for awhile and it had begun to cause problems until I sat down and thought it through -- now the problems are recognised, and I can do stuff about them. I'm proud of me for that. It's scary to admit that things aren't going well for you when everyone's happy -- rocking the boat, especially when you can't see a way to right it again, is awkward. Luckily some discussion turned up righting methods. :)
Next up: learning to get a real handle on the defenses I evolved back when to keep people at a distance. Most of them are gone, but there seem to be a few subtle, lingering ones.
And! In that time I found what is pretty sure to be our next apartment. It's in the heart of the city, so to speak, close to everything and in a very old building. It's not really that cosmetically lovely, but I'm already attaching (and trying to think of what to do to the walls). I'm proud of myself -- I did the searching and the arrangements, with a great deal of support from TOW, but I did do it. It was scary. The SO hasn't actually seen the place yet... it's kind of humbling to be trusted like that.
So, a fair amount of that going on. The Juggler's big into Everquest again, which makes him a little scarce here and there. I was going to talk to him about that, but decided that this week was not for processing. Another time.
It does mean a lot of sitting around with him on one computer, TOW on the other, and me on the carpet reading and singing along to music, or drawing, or whatever. LAid-back casual kind of fun.
I'm also beginning to work some stuff out surrounding the place of group sex in my life. That was something I'd kind of floated along with for awhile and it had begun to cause problems until I sat down and thought it through -- now the problems are recognised, and I can do stuff about them. I'm proud of me for that. It's scary to admit that things aren't going well for you when everyone's happy -- rocking the boat, especially when you can't see a way to right it again, is awkward. Luckily some discussion turned up righting methods. :)
Next up: learning to get a real handle on the defenses I evolved back when to keep people at a distance. Most of them are gone, but there seem to be a few subtle, lingering ones.
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Date: 2003-09-05 04:17 am (UTC)I've never been involved with a group larger than three who had more-than-occasional group sex, so generally my experiences have tended to be of the slow-to-start variety, people chatting and making tentative snuggly moves. The humorous advice I am tempted to offer, therefore, is that you need to find more different groups, and switch every time it gets routine. :) But that's a dumb idea.
Good luck with it, tho. :) You've got a wonderful group there; I'm sure you'll be fine.