Mostly Moved.
Mar. 2nd, 2006 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormWell, I'm moved, I'm not all arranged in the new place yet.
Yesterday was a lot of work. With a pickup truck and three of the people I love most in the world, with occasional substitutions with others of the same, I moved all my stuff from one place to another (where by 'I' I mean 'we'). All my plants are at Tillie's. All my stuff is. There seemed to be an awful lot of stuff, until I sorted through it and threw out about half of the junk. I'm getting closer to an amount of stuff I'm comfortable with right now, rather than so very much random nonuseful stuff. We started out around noon, and the guys finished the moving around 9 (I finished throwing things out at midnight). That's too long; it's too much stuff.
I learned a lot, a lot, a lot from this, and it's the first move where I feel, more or less, like an adult. To the people who helped me all day, Graham and the two Chrises, I have this inexpressible gratitude. I mean, these guys put aside a *whole day* to haul heavy stuff, there will be pain today, and the thing could not have been accomplished without them. Too, my brothers and Tillie helped haul stuff at the end, where we were running down pretty badly and needed the extra muscle and the speed. Again, impossible to accomplish what we did without them.
So, next time, I'll have more people and leave them at either end, and not worry about how many seats the truck has. That's a learned thing.
More importantly, though, to this adult feeling-- there are people who love me enough to help, and I'm not afraid of that anymore. It used to be I felt unworthy of it, like if people did something like that it was a mistake and they'd dislike me, so I would act in a number of dysfunctional ways around it. Now I can say thank you, honestly and deeply, and I can offer my own skills up at the proper time (two out of three of these movers need their ovens cleaned, for instance). I feel connected in a web of, not only love, but of obligation and help, and it feels good. It feels secure. It feels like I have my place in the world.
Hah. Juggler cutting through my bike lock with his oxy-acetelyne torch at 8pm (it had rusted shut) is not a sight I will soon forget.
Yesterday was a lot of work. With a pickup truck and three of the people I love most in the world, with occasional substitutions with others of the same, I moved all my stuff from one place to another (where by 'I' I mean 'we'). All my plants are at Tillie's. All my stuff is. There seemed to be an awful lot of stuff, until I sorted through it and threw out about half of the junk. I'm getting closer to an amount of stuff I'm comfortable with right now, rather than so very much random nonuseful stuff. We started out around noon, and the guys finished the moving around 9 (I finished throwing things out at midnight). That's too long; it's too much stuff.
I learned a lot, a lot, a lot from this, and it's the first move where I feel, more or less, like an adult. To the people who helped me all day, Graham and the two Chrises, I have this inexpressible gratitude. I mean, these guys put aside a *whole day* to haul heavy stuff, there will be pain today, and the thing could not have been accomplished without them. Too, my brothers and Tillie helped haul stuff at the end, where we were running down pretty badly and needed the extra muscle and the speed. Again, impossible to accomplish what we did without them.
So, next time, I'll have more people and leave them at either end, and not worry about how many seats the truck has. That's a learned thing.
More importantly, though, to this adult feeling-- there are people who love me enough to help, and I'm not afraid of that anymore. It used to be I felt unworthy of it, like if people did something like that it was a mistake and they'd dislike me, so I would act in a number of dysfunctional ways around it. Now I can say thank you, honestly and deeply, and I can offer my own skills up at the proper time (two out of three of these movers need their ovens cleaned, for instance). I feel connected in a web of, not only love, but of obligation and help, and it feels good. It feels secure. It feels like I have my place in the world.
Hah. Juggler cutting through my bike lock with his oxy-acetelyne torch at 8pm (it had rusted shut) is not a sight I will soon forget.
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Not A Non-Sequitur
Date: 2006-03-02 05:39 pm (UTC)Re: Not A Non-Sequitur
Date: 2006-03-02 05:41 pm (UTC)I am happy, and terrified of the work I have to get done for tomorrow. Plus, I'm rambly and needing to go bitch out the bank even though I don't have time for that.
In short, I love you, blarg blarg.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 09:12 pm (UTC)...I'm not arranged in my new place yet either, and I've been there since the beginning of August! Yeah. I think I might have too much stuff.