Life is Love
Mar. 21st, 2006 02:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstorm(Insert strip of varying colours here)
Okay. So I'm doing really well. I went dancing tonight for the first time in a very long time, and it was fantastic. My body feels like it's floating right now, a feeling I heartily approve of. It takes a bit of pain and effort to get here, but it was well worth it. I absolutely need to be in better shape for Shambhala and the Mission Folk Music Festival though-- no sense in being able to go for only two or three hours if I'm gonna be somewhere for a weekend.
I went in a group of people I don't see with any real regularity, and that was nice too. Socialising outside my comfortable little sphere of self-selected friends is good for me-- especially when I'm socialising with someone else's select group of friends, which means I don't need to worry about coming up against rough edges.
Some combination of hormones and brain are acting up; I'm getting paranoid flashes ("episodes") again, though not more than once every day or two. Since most of these centre around the people I'm close to, in relationships of some kind with, care about, and owe responsibility to, I do think I know what's going on. This is part of the ongoing process of 'learning to live with people' instead of 'living alone in my bedroom with books and plants.' Having grown up with the latter, it takes a bit to pick up the former, and sometimes my brain just becomes overly sensitive to the little clues it uses to decide what's going on around me. Oh, well. I'm learning how to deal with it.
I've learned how to deal with a surprising amount of stuff in the last year. Impulse control, honesty with myself and others, ability to decide what infromation needs to be shared with who and what doesn't, forthrightness, even trust-- I'm becoming more human, and less an alien who tries to live in human society based on books she's read a la science fiction.
And, you know? I'm happy. I'm happy to be where I am, with who I am, in the middle of this astoundingly wonderful community of people and ideas. I love my interests, I like myself an awful lot, I love the people who share my life and the absolutely unique shapes their own lives take.
It's good. I'm heading off catsitting tomorrow night, 'till Friday, and then off to the Island for another night, I think. This means I'll prolly be writing a lot, maybe, since I'll be fairly removed from daily in-person contact again (except for the responsible consumption fair at UBC, run by CrazyChris and team. I'll so be there).
So, well, maybe that's something to look forward to.
I guess this is another I-love-you post, in the end. I love you guys. Thanks.
Okay. So I'm doing really well. I went dancing tonight for the first time in a very long time, and it was fantastic. My body feels like it's floating right now, a feeling I heartily approve of. It takes a bit of pain and effort to get here, but it was well worth it. I absolutely need to be in better shape for Shambhala and the Mission Folk Music Festival though-- no sense in being able to go for only two or three hours if I'm gonna be somewhere for a weekend.
I went in a group of people I don't see with any real regularity, and that was nice too. Socialising outside my comfortable little sphere of self-selected friends is good for me-- especially when I'm socialising with someone else's select group of friends, which means I don't need to worry about coming up against rough edges.
Some combination of hormones and brain are acting up; I'm getting paranoid flashes ("episodes") again, though not more than once every day or two. Since most of these centre around the people I'm close to, in relationships of some kind with, care about, and owe responsibility to, I do think I know what's going on. This is part of the ongoing process of 'learning to live with people' instead of 'living alone in my bedroom with books and plants.' Having grown up with the latter, it takes a bit to pick up the former, and sometimes my brain just becomes overly sensitive to the little clues it uses to decide what's going on around me. Oh, well. I'm learning how to deal with it.
I've learned how to deal with a surprising amount of stuff in the last year. Impulse control, honesty with myself and others, ability to decide what infromation needs to be shared with who and what doesn't, forthrightness, even trust-- I'm becoming more human, and less an alien who tries to live in human society based on books she's read a la science fiction.
And, you know? I'm happy. I'm happy to be where I am, with who I am, in the middle of this astoundingly wonderful community of people and ideas. I love my interests, I like myself an awful lot, I love the people who share my life and the absolutely unique shapes their own lives take.
It's good. I'm heading off catsitting tomorrow night, 'till Friday, and then off to the Island for another night, I think. This means I'll prolly be writing a lot, maybe, since I'll be fairly removed from daily in-person contact again (except for the responsible consumption fair at UBC, run by CrazyChris and team. I'll so be there).
So, well, maybe that's something to look forward to.
I guess this is another I-love-you post, in the end. I love you guys. Thanks.
