Rambling in the Morning
Apr. 15th, 2006 08:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormSo the first question is, why am I awake? I woke up at 6:30 this morning, as always, and got to bed at 4am last night. My eyes feel like distilled ache. My head is heavy. I'm not really enthusiastic about being awake, but here I am. I've been sitting on the computer for an hour or so, hopeing to muster up whatever it takes to actually fall asleep again, but it's not comin'. Maybe after a bath?
Last night I modelled for this event. Sometime in the last month I've learned to use html links properly instead of letting the browser make a cut-and-pastred url into a link. Last night was fun, I got to dress up and wear pretty clothes and hang out with some very hot persons of varying gender designations. Skytrain was over by the time I got out, so I decided to walk up to Juggler's from Broadway and the nightbus rather than go home to my conveniently-transited place where I would have to share space. Huh.
I took pictures of myself in the mirror till the camera was full (I love this borrowed camera thing. Sigh, something else for the need-to-get list) and then headed to sleep. Now, though-- awake. I turned on some music, because I can listen to La Bottine Souriante as loudly as I want right now-- Juggler hates it. I also have a half-formed idea that I'll fall asleep better with something to half-occupy my mind, and that does seem to be the case.
Today I need to grab a roast from famous foods and cook itr in Juggler's oven, since ours is broken. I need to drop by the landlady's office and get a storage thingy so I can set up a rat area in our apartment, since my babies will be home soon and I'll want to take them out and play with them, and all of the above just isn't feasible too close to Tillie's well-used areas, given her allergies.
I have this continuing to-do list this weekend that's kind of weirding me out. It looks something like: take long bath. Sleep lots. Walk with Bevan. Take VanDusen pictures. Clean Juggler's house a bit. Do some laundry. Take more pictures. Relax.
It's weird. I'm in the transition phase between with-people and without-people, halfway between wanting to have someone in bed to cuddle so I'll fall asleep better and relishing this alone-space. I really do need to figure out how to re-quiet my mind. It used to be a very serene place, but then busy and work caught up with me and it goes staticky when quiet, rather than turning to a clean peace. I don't really approve.
The idea of having a home is so appealing right now. A home where I can live. Sigh. Eventually.
I've been roleplaying some more, which makes me very happy, and chatting it up with the admin, myu old friends, at Otherspace. I've known most of these people for longer than anyone I know in person now, and I like talking to them. They are very cool people. Someone says, "Have you got weirder in the last liuttle bit?" when I'm in the middle of talking about my rats, their tumours, and my sex life. I'm like, "nah, I'm just more forthcoming about it now."
I love people a lot right now. I think i understand CrazyChris now when he said, "I like living alone because then when I do see people I'm happy to see them, instead of using up my small store of people-liking at home." Well, majorly paraphrased, of course.
Okay. I've been awake two hours now. Food, then sleep, I think.
Last night I modelled for this event. Sometime in the last month I've learned to use html links properly instead of letting the browser make a cut-and-pastred url into a link. Last night was fun, I got to dress up and wear pretty clothes and hang out with some very hot persons of varying gender designations. Skytrain was over by the time I got out, so I decided to walk up to Juggler's from Broadway and the nightbus rather than go home to my conveniently-transited place where I would have to share space. Huh.
I took pictures of myself in the mirror till the camera was full (I love this borrowed camera thing. Sigh, something else for the need-to-get list) and then headed to sleep. Now, though-- awake. I turned on some music, because I can listen to La Bottine Souriante as loudly as I want right now-- Juggler hates it. I also have a half-formed idea that I'll fall asleep better with something to half-occupy my mind, and that does seem to be the case.
Today I need to grab a roast from famous foods and cook itr in Juggler's oven, since ours is broken. I need to drop by the landlady's office and get a storage thingy so I can set up a rat area in our apartment, since my babies will be home soon and I'll want to take them out and play with them, and all of the above just isn't feasible too close to Tillie's well-used areas, given her allergies.
I have this continuing to-do list this weekend that's kind of weirding me out. It looks something like: take long bath. Sleep lots. Walk with Bevan. Take VanDusen pictures. Clean Juggler's house a bit. Do some laundry. Take more pictures. Relax.
It's weird. I'm in the transition phase between with-people and without-people, halfway between wanting to have someone in bed to cuddle so I'll fall asleep better and relishing this alone-space. I really do need to figure out how to re-quiet my mind. It used to be a very serene place, but then busy and work caught up with me and it goes staticky when quiet, rather than turning to a clean peace. I don't really approve.
The idea of having a home is so appealing right now. A home where I can live. Sigh. Eventually.
I've been roleplaying some more, which makes me very happy, and chatting it up with the admin, myu old friends, at Otherspace. I've known most of these people for longer than anyone I know in person now, and I like talking to them. They are very cool people. Someone says, "Have you got weirder in the last liuttle bit?" when I'm in the middle of talking about my rats, their tumours, and my sex life. I'm like, "nah, I'm just more forthcoming about it now."
I love people a lot right now. I think i understand CrazyChris now when he said, "I like living alone because then when I do see people I'm happy to see them, instead of using up my small store of people-liking at home." Well, majorly paraphrased, of course.
Okay. I've been awake two hours now. Food, then sleep, I think.
