Okay...

[greenstorm]

...so I kind of skimped on the morning thing. I realise that the reason this journal is so heavy on angst-to-neutral stuff is because I tend to do that -- one liner for a good day, three monster posts on a bad one.

So the thing about this morning was that we did a lot of cool, wonderful interaction all four together as a group. Now this may sound strange coming from me all of the sudden (aren't you guys a group already?) but generally what happens is that, even if we're doing something all together, we pair off a little or shift attention back and forth between pairs. This time we were just... all there, all connected at once, and it was great.

What's even better about that is knowing that I've received this wonderful experience through my own perseverance. I've dealt with a couple of issues -- at least three -- that allowed me to participate in this sort of thing. Without any of those three it's slightly awkward, hesitant at times, and uncertain. Today it's just... don't worry! And I don't. Well, it was a little more complex than that, but I got a handle on my issues and jumped in. And it worked.

Sometimes you get to feeling that all that processing and stuff leads to just a neutral or not-unhappy state. I'm getting to the point now where some very, very clear rewards and calm periods are coming in though (knock on wood) and I'm happy.

So there.

Comments

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

I'm glad your processing and clearing through issues has lead to a good place...I had noticed that you guys tend to pair off, and had wondered about it, (mostly assumed is none of my business) but am glad to now know that any stuff is sorted.

I, too, often go to the "processing = blah" place, mostly because I think (especially at times like now) processing can leaves me feeling drained, or in the past, processing has lead me to feel I need to "give things up" (a practice I am trying to leave behind.) Is good to be reminded that processing can be productive, that's why we do it.