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greenstormJust finished working for the day. So tired- the level of tired where my stomach is unsteady, my English goes (three tries for a couple o fnouns, and let's not get started on weekdays), and I get dizzy and uncoordinated. I was going to have a nap today, but had no time, so I had a coffee instead. I haven't slept through the night this week, because the cats have woken me up every night. That's a seperate issue I'll come to. Hah. I'll pay for this one way (sick) or the other (grumpy/alienating people/flaky collapse). My support network is all too pissy/miserable/busy to support me right now, more or less. What's with you guys, going all at once?
Everything's ready for the rat show once Lizzy shows up to deliver her rodents, though.
So, when I came back from Kelowna, I promised myself, no more crazy days like this. Now here I am, cancelling the tail end of a crazy day tomorrow so I can survive the crazy day today. It would seem like I'm hiding from something, because that's the classic workaholic's thingy. Bad relationship, the cliche goes. Maybe.
I'm also helping people I care about, though, and doing things I don't mind doing. I have sleeping baby rats on my lap right now, four perfect precious things, and that ties in to the whole rat show thing. That's important. Work is important too. Rent's gonna be tight this month, and that *needs* to get in. So?
I push myself to this place pretty often, though. I'm comfortable with and used to the dizzy, the language loss, the white static in my brain. Then, of course, I lounge around indolently at other times. Is this just part of the cyclic Greenie?
In other news, relationship stuff is super weird lately. Not necessarily bad, but different than it has been in awhile, and I'm reminded that I need to both voice my needs and stick to my boundaries, and not be too rigid. There's a compromise line to walk between running off at the first Big Conversation, and sticking around through months of 3am angst with work the next day. I'm terrified of the latter, and burnt in the past, so yeah. Um, I still don't feel comfy discussing too much of that right now, especially with baby rats on my lap and Lizzy due any second, but I'll sit down and ponder it sometime, I promise. It may need a contemplative airing, whatever the habits instilled in me in the past.
Kelowna on Sun/Mon/Tues.
So tired. Need dinner.
Anyone wanna come make me lunch on Sunday early afternoon? I'll provide the kitchen space and pleasant company, or I'll go to your place and just be company. I'd like very much to feel taken care of after this week, before I head off.
Anyhow, night all.
Everything's ready for the rat show once Lizzy shows up to deliver her rodents, though.
So, when I came back from Kelowna, I promised myself, no more crazy days like this. Now here I am, cancelling the tail end of a crazy day tomorrow so I can survive the crazy day today. It would seem like I'm hiding from something, because that's the classic workaholic's thingy. Bad relationship, the cliche goes. Maybe.
I'm also helping people I care about, though, and doing things I don't mind doing. I have sleeping baby rats on my lap right now, four perfect precious things, and that ties in to the whole rat show thing. That's important. Work is important too. Rent's gonna be tight this month, and that *needs* to get in. So?
I push myself to this place pretty often, though. I'm comfortable with and used to the dizzy, the language loss, the white static in my brain. Then, of course, I lounge around indolently at other times. Is this just part of the cyclic Greenie?
In other news, relationship stuff is super weird lately. Not necessarily bad, but different than it has been in awhile, and I'm reminded that I need to both voice my needs and stick to my boundaries, and not be too rigid. There's a compromise line to walk between running off at the first Big Conversation, and sticking around through months of 3am angst with work the next day. I'm terrified of the latter, and burnt in the past, so yeah. Um, I still don't feel comfy discussing too much of that right now, especially with baby rats on my lap and Lizzy due any second, but I'll sit down and ponder it sometime, I promise. It may need a contemplative airing, whatever the habits instilled in me in the past.
Kelowna on Sun/Mon/Tues.
So tired. Need dinner.
Anyone wanna come make me lunch on Sunday early afternoon? I'll provide the kitchen space and pleasant company, or I'll go to your place and just be company. I'd like very much to feel taken care of after this week, before I head off.
Anyhow, night all.
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Date: 2007-07-27 08:28 pm (UTC)