Stitching It Together
Aug. 19th, 2007 01:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormSo, yeah. The living with someone after a breakup while you wait to move is not so much. Living with the recent ex plus your current boyfriend, while you wait to move-- you know, Juggler is the best possible person to do this with, and it's been amazingly drama-free, but it still sucks. It sucks for him to see Bob and I together in our house, and it sucks for me to see him in pain and to curb my interaction with Bob to not rub things in Juggler's face, and it sucks for Bob to have a stress-bomb girlfriend who's just had a breakup and is home avoidant and also to be living with a lot of tension in his home.
Today I finally got around to cleaning the rat cages. I slept a lot last night, I went down the second I got home like I'd been shot and woke up in the middle of the night to Bob coming home from his party and trying to move the guitar off the side of the bed where I'd shoved it to curl up. More sleep after that, and then I woke up at 6:30 am. My ability to sleep in seems to be gone. Anyone out there get up at 6:30am and wanna hang out for a morning walk on weekends?
It feels good to have my home a little more in order. I was pretty much unable to function when I was here, but now I've eaten two meals here (soon to be a third), slept, and cleaned a bit. That's pretty normal stuff. I was pretty off-kilter all of yesterday, but that's fine. These things will happen.
I'm super-scared to be moving with Bob now, though. I'm scared that we'll get back to our own place and this sense of jarring discomfort will follow, or that the relationship will diw in some other way, and we'll just have moved, and I'll be stuck in the same situation. It's a situation I've never been in before, you see, and so it's something to add to my list of worries. When Kynnin and I broke up, I just moved out, and it was fine. There was none of this waiting-forever-with-notice-and-financial-stuff thing going on.
It'll pass. I need to remember to breathe from time to time. I need to remember to give myself time alone.
Today for lunch, and yesterday for lunch, I'm having tomato sandwiches with some lovely bicolours and a black beefsteak from the farmer's market. They're early-season tomatoes, so they're not so intensely flavoured, but they're real tomatoes and irt shows in the taste. Bread, tomato, salt, and maybe a little onion is all you need. I'm using some nice rye today, and yesterday it was a sunflower-spelt bread that was pretty fantastic. The bread must be toasted, of course.
The sandwiches were seasoned with the bits of Angus still stuck between my teeth yesterday, which was a good addition.
I've been slowing down in order to get more sleep, cutting out karaoke going late into the night and some parties, things like that. Becoming more of, to use a co-workers words, a homebody. "When I work outside I become more of a homebody" she told me a month ago, and I shrugged it off, but here it is. It's been interrupting my social round with Bob, which sucks bigtime. I need to spend more time with that boy, especially in a relaxing sort of environment, which we don't really have right now.
I feel good this morning, if super-behind in all the things I need to do.
Lunch is waiting. Be well.
Today I finally got around to cleaning the rat cages. I slept a lot last night, I went down the second I got home like I'd been shot and woke up in the middle of the night to Bob coming home from his party and trying to move the guitar off the side of the bed where I'd shoved it to curl up. More sleep after that, and then I woke up at 6:30 am. My ability to sleep in seems to be gone. Anyone out there get up at 6:30am and wanna hang out for a morning walk on weekends?
It feels good to have my home a little more in order. I was pretty much unable to function when I was here, but now I've eaten two meals here (soon to be a third), slept, and cleaned a bit. That's pretty normal stuff. I was pretty off-kilter all of yesterday, but that's fine. These things will happen.
I'm super-scared to be moving with Bob now, though. I'm scared that we'll get back to our own place and this sense of jarring discomfort will follow, or that the relationship will diw in some other way, and we'll just have moved, and I'll be stuck in the same situation. It's a situation I've never been in before, you see, and so it's something to add to my list of worries. When Kynnin and I broke up, I just moved out, and it was fine. There was none of this waiting-forever-with-notice-and-financial-stuff thing going on.
It'll pass. I need to remember to breathe from time to time. I need to remember to give myself time alone.
Today for lunch, and yesterday for lunch, I'm having tomato sandwiches with some lovely bicolours and a black beefsteak from the farmer's market. They're early-season tomatoes, so they're not so intensely flavoured, but they're real tomatoes and irt shows in the taste. Bread, tomato, salt, and maybe a little onion is all you need. I'm using some nice rye today, and yesterday it was a sunflower-spelt bread that was pretty fantastic. The bread must be toasted, of course.
The sandwiches were seasoned with the bits of Angus still stuck between my teeth yesterday, which was a good addition.
I've been slowing down in order to get more sleep, cutting out karaoke going late into the night and some parties, things like that. Becoming more of, to use a co-workers words, a homebody. "When I work outside I become more of a homebody" she told me a month ago, and I shrugged it off, but here it is. It's been interrupting my social round with Bob, which sucks bigtime. I need to spend more time with that boy, especially in a relaxing sort of environment, which we don't really have right now.
I feel good this morning, if super-behind in all the things I need to do.
Lunch is waiting. Be well.
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Date: 2007-08-20 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
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