Brains Exploding

[greenstorm]

Well, a cup or two of coke on the weekend, a bunch of matcha (hot with honey, yum), lots of sugar, and eating irregularly- maybe that's what brought it on. Maybe it's the moving thing, and the inability to distance from Juggler to heal up (cause we're living together and also cause he seems to need a bit of a shoulder right now). In any case, I had another episode this morning. It's been a long time.

This one was pretty damn intense. I'm really freaking out right now. I skipped out on work, I don't know how to explain this particular thing to my boss. I don't want to have this particular thing happen again. I don't want to be nonfunctional to that degree, ever.

I am so looking forward to getting moved into somewhere I can go into my room and close the door. Whether or not I end up with the place I looked at yesterday (it was awesome, fireplace in the bedroom, three blocks away from where I am right now, landlord was cool and seemed to hit it off) or at some other place, at least it won't be like *this*.

Great weekend otherwise, though. Angus made the most kickass GLUTEN FREE CUPCAKES OMG TILLIE YOU NEED SOME. Good cuddling with Anthony at Nick's party - I realise since I'm not having sex as often as I usually do, I'm also not getting as much skin-to-skin contact as usual, and I think that's part of what's messing up my moods. The baby rats were super-amazing-awesome and I spent a really large number of hours chatting with rat people. Before that the weekend gets hazy. I really should eat something right now, come to think of it.

I'm having trouble eating in the house now. Mmf.

Comments

[mocks.livejournal.com]

You can always lie to your work and call it food poisoning.

Probably preferable is to tell them (at least most of) the truth and write it off to freaking-out stress breakdown due to housing and relationship-related trauma. If it's really an issue, go to a clinic, see a doctor, explain the situation, and you'll be able to get a note explaining why it is/was medically inadvisable for you to work.

The countdown to the end of a period of stress can be the worst, particularly when your future isn't exactly set in stone yet.

I'm not entirely together myself right now, but if you want to hang out, or even just want someone to be around and not talk much with, or cuddle, or eat food with, or whatever, do give me a call. Call anytime, too; if I don't want to be disturbed, my phone will be off, and I keep rather odd hours these days anyhow.

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

sweet. maybe when you're in your new place we can all get together and cook.