Bang, Clatter, and Productivity

[greenstorm]

Oh, yeah. Last night the Juggler dressed me up in his SCA armour and hit me with a big stick a bunch of times. This was on purpose. I've had violent urges lately and he's offered to let me vent them on him, but needed to prove to me first that it wouldn't hurt him.

There's something very sexy about the whole thing, dressing up in his armour, that is. Not just because the padded jacket can be torn dramatically open in front but the whole experience, being clothed and bound in this restrictive stuff, the smell of it all leather and sweat and metal-serious, just playing around and doing something silly and having fun, the way one has to walk to keep the knee-guards from locking together...

The helmet really does ring when it's hit, ye gods! I'd need earplugs to actually do that for long. It really is so, so neat.

I've finished weeding the side garden, staked the poppy that I daren't move, moved everything else to the other one. This is the result of the 'nap, reading, or do something useful' choice that I decided to make productively. I'll have to see about amending the thing soon, to get those tomatoes in.

Made up a list of things I expect/need from my relationship with the Exotic. Will elaborate on them on here when I've had a chance to talk with him.

Now for more food. At least I'm eating semi-regularly again. :)

Comments

mmmm, armoured babe...

[breklor.livejournal.com]

There's a lady I fell hard for, a few years ago... initially I knew her only as "the gorgeous armoured lady".

I first saw her at a "What do you want to be when you grow up" party, dressed in partial plate and doing tai ch'i. She was beautiful in that simple, unadorned way; little makeup, flowing curly - almost frizzy - hair, and the only thing polished about her armour was the breastplate. The rest was all scuffed leather and well-worn cloth and straps and buckles.

Later, after I'd gotten to know her a bit, we wound up on the same side of a "Mafia" game. I'll explain the game to you sometime - heck, next time I see you at a party I'll try to get a game started; it's quick and simple and fun - but in a nutshell, there's a village with a Mafia, and the villagers have to figure out who the Mafia are and hang them, and sometimes they get it wrong.

Well, the GAL and I were both Mafia. One "morning" in the game, the angry mob of peasants were looking for someone to lynch, and she said "Andrew's in the Mafia! I know it!" They took her word for it, and lynched me, and when I turned up my card to show that I was indeed in the Mafia, she was - as far as they were concerned - as good as gold. Eventually she won the game. Well, I was so impressed that this woman could so callously betray and condemn me... how could I not love such a one?

We dated for a while. She even fought for me once, dedicated a fight to me. She lost, but that didn't matter; I think I see now the romantic appeal of having a fighter to fight for you. It was such a rush...

Eventually she went off with some other guy, married him, and moved to Japan. But it was fun while it lasted... Ad Nauseam - my medieval/Renaissance dance music group - even played for their wedding reception.


There's another story I like to tell, about helms.

It seems that there was a SCA fellow who also happened to be an aerospace engineer or maintenance guy or some such. It occurred to him that he could make a helm out of titanium, the stuff they use to make jet bodies. Now, titanium is incredibly durable, much stronger than steel; it's also a lot lighter. This, he reckoned, was a plus: he could use a thinner gauge of titanium, and still get the same strength, but with a fraction of the weight, and wouldn't that be lovely on the field?

He made his titanium helm. It was apparently a thing of beauty, well-formed and gleaming.

In the SCA, any armour whose shape, style, engineering or materials are new, must undergo a series of tests. First it is placed upon a mannequin and struck with full force. If the armour survives, it is placed upon a human and struck, once not so hard, then once at full force.

The helm survived the mannequin test with flying colours. It wasn't even dented. So it was time for the "live test". The fellow buckled on the helmet and someone walked up with an SCA standard broadsword and clocked him a good one upside the head.

When he got out of hospital *ahem*, he realized that part of the reason why SCA helms work so well is that being heavy, they absorb a lot of the momentum of the blow. The titanium helm worked beautifully to shield the hapless fellow's skull from the impact, but his head was knocked aside like a punching bag and he suffered some fairly serious neck damage.

More stories!

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I'm entertained. More stories, please. :)

Re: More stories!

[breklor.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness. Um...

I'll need to think about that :) I really do tell stories much better in person...

Re: More stories!

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

You. Me. The park on a sunny day. Storytime.

Yes?

Re: More stories!

[breklor.livejournal.com]

Yes!

Email me sometime; we can swap schedules. :)