One More Thing

[greenstorm]

First, some music. Ignore the video:

Okay, so last post was about some sad bits I had. This post is a little happier. Jack Johnson is definitely one of my favourite happy romantic musicians-- I can't say I have many of those. Usually they turn melancholy.

I think I'm exploring crush territory again over here. It's a nervous place for me to be, mostly because I have handled it so very poorly in the past and I'm shy of doing to Angus what I've done to others, namely going to the ignore/distracted place with him. In reality we have a bunch of time and good connections, but with his illness there's also a special need to be mindful that I'm not only hanging around him when he's shiny to me.

And anyhow, I wonder about how appropriate it is to get in any way involved in someone who doesn't have a significant other (ha, I realise most people are on the other side of this one!). I know that I'm not willing to give any kind of commitment besides 'I'll keep treating you like a human being'-- nothing regular by way of visiting, sex, emotional support, anything like that. If someone has a great support network and a focus for that, it's great, and it relieves my mind greatly. If they don't, well...?

On the one hand people do casual or short-term hookups all the time, sometimes with a lot of that energy behind it, and that energy is super fun. They don't get hurt, there are no bones broken-- fire is surely a tool humans have been using for so long we can sometimes do so successfully. I have some very fond memories of various liaisons over the years, including some searingly intense ones.

On the other hand, it can so often go bad in so many ways.

Bah, I'm not going to decide this alone or on livejournal. I'm pretty sure only Angus can help bring me clarity on this. Thank god for him, you know? I live so much in my head, with social interaction sort of a tacked-on set of learned stuff. He lives in his heart, and he's a born sweetheart.

So that's where I'm at, as the expression goes. Time to finish waking up and head out.

(To-do list additions:
X rat website updated with baby pix
- belly dance classes signup?
- yoga drop-in?)

Comments

[estrellada.livejournal.com]

let me know if you wanna come to yoga with me sometime. my favorite classes are Mondays at 8 PM, Tuesdays at 5PM, Thursdays at 8PM, and Sundays at 5PM. I've also gone to the Friday night classes.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

When ThatGuy and I were negociating his recent round of potential dating, one of my concerns was that he not be the only love interest in someone else's life. I had issues with the thought of a secondary not having other 'family' or emotional/financial/romantic support and what that might mean if problems arose in their life or mine, or within the relationships he shared. Casual hook-ups just don't seem practical to either of us, what with concerns over safe sex and the reality that we might not really *know* the other potential partner.

Still a little bit of 'go and be happy--but always promise I'm the most important,' I suppose. *sigh*