Another One
Aug. 13th, 2010 07:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormWell, here we go: another day. Yesterday was lovely. Thursdays are supposed to be my half-day at work; yesterday finally *was*, and it was all sunshine and people who loved me. I went shopping for a bike with a very sweet friend of mine, and after some off-the-shelf weirdness I actually went in to somewhere that did something involving analysis and fitting and came out with instructions to return Saturday with some time to tweak the thing he put together for me. Saturday morning, therefore, I get to pick up my bike! Then I hurry to Andi's for meadmaking, then the Leo Party. Today's work, Scott Pilgrim with the mob, and Blue Erin and Bob's housewarming-- it's gonna be a busy couple of days. Sunday is Patti's wedding.
My brain is still in a weird place. It dipped down a fair bit there, and I'm still unsteady or unstable; not confident in happiness, I guess. It's not a comfortable place to be. On the weekend I slowed down enough to do the things that really make me happy, snuggling and just existing in a close orbit, but my life isn;t structured to allow me time for that much. I need to rev up again and stay revved up, to jump into action rewarding enough to be worth the energy. It's taking some doing.
The bike will help. Sunshine will help. Today at work will help-- a nice normal day, me alone tending my plants, even if I go need to wait for security etc etc. It's really great having someone to help me once a week at work but it does mean responsibility and constant awareness of another person, so it's rough on the part of me that uses work as the alone-time or downtime that I don't get at home. I wonder if there's some way around that?
One of my goals for today is to come home and water my garden again. Everything in the garden was more-or-less on hold because the guys were going to paint the porch railings (after painting the rest of the building and trashing my plants) so I moved everything out and away from my patio. They haven't got around to that, painting in two weeks, so I'm done with waiting.
I still have a ridiculously long to-do list of responsible adult stuff-- renewing things, paying things, checking up with bureaucracies, blah.
I need to spend more time in my garden. In a garden, really. Do I know anyone anymore who'd just like sitting in Strathcona community garden or in the little hill garden by my house through a long evening? Are any of those people ones I'd like to sit with like that?
Okay, time to go do this work thing. Be well, people. I will too.
My brain is still in a weird place. It dipped down a fair bit there, and I'm still unsteady or unstable; not confident in happiness, I guess. It's not a comfortable place to be. On the weekend I slowed down enough to do the things that really make me happy, snuggling and just existing in a close orbit, but my life isn;t structured to allow me time for that much. I need to rev up again and stay revved up, to jump into action rewarding enough to be worth the energy. It's taking some doing.
The bike will help. Sunshine will help. Today at work will help-- a nice normal day, me alone tending my plants, even if I go need to wait for security etc etc. It's really great having someone to help me once a week at work but it does mean responsibility and constant awareness of another person, so it's rough on the part of me that uses work as the alone-time or downtime that I don't get at home. I wonder if there's some way around that?
One of my goals for today is to come home and water my garden again. Everything in the garden was more-or-less on hold because the guys were going to paint the porch railings (after painting the rest of the building and trashing my plants) so I moved everything out and away from my patio. They haven't got around to that, painting in two weeks, so I'm done with waiting.
I still have a ridiculously long to-do list of responsible adult stuff-- renewing things, paying things, checking up with bureaucracies, blah.
I need to spend more time in my garden. In a garden, really. Do I know anyone anymore who'd just like sitting in Strathcona community garden or in the little hill garden by my house through a long evening? Are any of those people ones I'd like to sit with like that?
Okay, time to go do this work thing. Be well, people. I will too.
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Date: 2010-08-13 03:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 03:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 04:24 pm (UTC)