![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormIt's been a dry, dry, dry year. We had a long rainless summer, and then after the briefest of rainy weeks our sunny clear fall began. We're still in the midst of that fall; I'm still watering at work, and it's nearly November. It's part of why work is such busy chaos right now.
A big fog has settled over the valley these last several days and I remember I only really sleep well when it rains, or when it's cloudy. I've had to be at work extra early with the change-out so I couldn't get the benefit of the fog, but today I slept until 7am! Seven! When I've had so many 5/6am mornings lately. If this keeps up I'm in danger of being a human again, instead of a won-out reacting mess.
Look, I can even write without panic!
What I came to say, though, is that I've been looking at schools again. I remember this feeling http://greenstorm.livejournal.com/710356.html and the burnout that felt so immediate and meaningful, like this http://greenstorm.livejournal.com/740534.html because it had a set end and because I was achieving an end thereby. I love challenges. I love barely-achievable goals. I especially love achieving the impossible; I love surpassing my limits in the service of some worthy end. BCIT let me do that all the time with that crazy schedule (were there only three of us that worked through it, in the last year?) and at the same time rub my brain against Norm's and those of the other profs. Sure I came home and cried from sheer exhaustion after many-to-most days in second term, sure it took I guess this long to recover, but I loved that set of circumstances.
So now I'm thinking about doing something much gentler, about adding one or two courses a term. I should see what parts of my BCIT stuff will transfer to UBC. I am pretty ultra skeptical of much of the UBC agroecology stuff these days. It would be pretty ironic if I ended up in something foresty over there after deciding so many years ago it wasn't for me. Botany/ecology would be great in theory, but I've never talked to those folks. The other option is Kent Mullinix's Sustainable Ag degree at Kwantlen, but that's a pretty damn big commute and a very new program. Of course, it has <3 Kent Mullinix <3 and I don't think UBC has anything like Norm. I should look up Deb, who teaches at UBC now, and speak with her about options.
But maybe I should avoid making decisions until I've transitioned my job, honestly. If I end up in arboriculture instead of just a different landscaping job I'll need to spend some time in a less-flexible job I can't do amazingly well with my mind tied behind my back.
I was going to title this post "crazy" but I've been super sensitive to negative language around mental health lately. I do, after all, have brothers who are "crazy".
A big fog has settled over the valley these last several days and I remember I only really sleep well when it rains, or when it's cloudy. I've had to be at work extra early with the change-out so I couldn't get the benefit of the fog, but today I slept until 7am! Seven! When I've had so many 5/6am mornings lately. If this keeps up I'm in danger of being a human again, instead of a won-out reacting mess.
Look, I can even write without panic!
What I came to say, though, is that I've been looking at schools again. I remember this feeling http://greenstorm.livejournal.com/710356.html and the burnout that felt so immediate and meaningful, like this http://greenstorm.livejournal.com/740534.html because it had a set end and because I was achieving an end thereby. I love challenges. I love barely-achievable goals. I especially love achieving the impossible; I love surpassing my limits in the service of some worthy end. BCIT let me do that all the time with that crazy schedule (were there only three of us that worked through it, in the last year?) and at the same time rub my brain against Norm's and those of the other profs. Sure I came home and cried from sheer exhaustion after many-to-most days in second term, sure it took I guess this long to recover, but I loved that set of circumstances.
So now I'm thinking about doing something much gentler, about adding one or two courses a term. I should see what parts of my BCIT stuff will transfer to UBC. I am pretty ultra skeptical of much of the UBC agroecology stuff these days. It would be pretty ironic if I ended up in something foresty over there after deciding so many years ago it wasn't for me. Botany/ecology would be great in theory, but I've never talked to those folks. The other option is Kent Mullinix's Sustainable Ag degree at Kwantlen, but that's a pretty damn big commute and a very new program. Of course, it has <3 Kent Mullinix <3 and I don't think UBC has anything like Norm. I should look up Deb, who teaches at UBC now, and speak with her about options.
But maybe I should avoid making decisions until I've transitioned my job, honestly. If I end up in arboriculture instead of just a different landscaping job I'll need to spend some time in a less-flexible job I can't do amazingly well with my mind tied behind my back.
I was going to title this post "crazy" but I've been super sensitive to negative language around mental health lately. I do, after all, have brothers who are "crazy".
