An Abundance of Snowdrops

[greenstorm]

Okay.

You know, I spend so little time on the internet actually interacting with folks. I've become a more-or-less passive consumer, which is a bad fit for me. I just spend some time chatting with friends I haven't seen in awhile, nearby and far-flung, and it was pretty great. So here I am, a little bit recharged, with a bit more to talk about.

My counselor has an implied belief I find super interesting. He seems to believe that if you practice acting as if you're worth self-care in little bits, then you will get better at it and your actions around being a worthwhile person will expand. He's never stated it outright, but it's the underlying basis of some stuff he's said. I think I find myself in agreement.

There just seem to be so many habits I need to form, or break. I need to get better at interrupting myself between the desire-for-company and scheduling, to ask myself if spending time that way is a good idea really.

I am also getting into a time where I get to learn lots more about how I interact with sex, kink, my role as a top, specialness and intimacy related to play, and what I want from deeply kinky relationships. I think the next few weeks will give me a pretty steep learning curve in that regard, and I'm going to try to anticipate it as much as possible.

Turned off the music, no longer feeling deep and lyrical, just floaty and loved. Guess I'll worry about more things later.

Comments

[donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com]

"Fake it until you make it", at least in terms of displaying and feeling emotion, has been a concept that's been around the psychological community for quite a while. I think it was in the late 80s that Zajonc did studies whereby he had test subjects adopt various facial expressions via a neutral stimulus (e.g. reading vowel sounds out loud, holding pens between their teeth) to see whether they ended up feeling the emotions that their expressions were mimicking. I remember reading that involuntarily smiling tended to have people reporting they felt happier -- not sure about the negative emotions, but I think it was the same.

More recent studies have been published on the effectiveness of "power poses" on one's general disposition and self-image. Anecdotally, the very day I set up my standing desk at work, my general feeling of self-assuredness and competence at my job increased profoundly because I had arranged everything such that I was forced to stand in a tall, proud posture for good ergonomics. It's an interesting new feeling.