greenstorm | Complications

I'm realizing just how much energy it takes for me to be in unstructured interpersonal relationships. I'm oriented towards school lately, towards pouring my energy into that particular bottomless hole, and I don't have a lot left over. Certainly I don't seem to have enough to deal with a shifting relationship landscape. I don't want to think about logistics and planning -- usually my schtick within the context of a relationship -- I just want to get things done with maximum efficiency. I can figure out how everything fits together just for myself effortlessly. I can't plan around other folks in the same way.

Am I running up against a control mechanism around my abandonment issues where I try to control everything, or am I running up against a reasonable desire for stability in a tough time? Or rather, how much of each is going on right now? Let's sit with this for awhile.