There's no one there
Sep. 29th, 2014 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormTwo nights ago i talked about my late teens/early twenties when mom kicked me out because she couldn't deal with my depression and Kynnin supported me until I could take care of myself then left without really telling me he was doing so, maybe/maybenot because being the sole support of someone with full on nonfunctional depression is pretty hard on a relationship.
Today my abandonment issues are out in full force.
I'm back in school fifteen years after that event with mom (I dropped out due to depression). She supported my brothers through years of school/mental illness, sometimes of her own volition and sometimes through court stuff via dad.
Regardless, I guess it makes sense for this to be such an emotionally difficult time, and for me to feel like no one will help me. I guess it makes sense for my abandonment stuff to come up. And I guess it makes sense for me to have a poor baseline around expectation of support.
Oh dear.
Today my abandonment issues are out in full force.
I'm back in school fifteen years after that event with mom (I dropped out due to depression). She supported my brothers through years of school/mental illness, sometimes of her own volition and sometimes through court stuff via dad.
Regardless, I guess it makes sense for this to be such an emotionally difficult time, and for me to feel like no one will help me. I guess it makes sense for my abandonment stuff to come up. And I guess it makes sense for me to have a poor baseline around expectation of support.
Oh dear.
