"Productivity"
Mar. 4th, 2019 03:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormWhen I have people around me I tend to drift into a slow, purposeless space. I enjoy time with those people, but I don't get a ton of the things that make me myself done.
This was the second weekend of Tucker's absence, and Josh did not come up.
I got a huge amount done: not just hauling straw and filling feeders and stockpiling pig feed grains and moving firewood piles and researching chainsaws, but also snuggling cats and brushing dogs and hanging out with pigs and tidying the house. I enjoy doing all these things. They make me feel alive and accomplished.
I wonder what it is about the lingering effect of other humans' presence that makes me stall out like that. It can last for days.
It's not super helpful. I do like and need people.
I guess I'm getting a pretty long list for my next counseling session: stalling out when people are around, neighbours in my yard yelling at me, being blocked/ghosted/whatever.
Good thing that's coming up soon.
This was the second weekend of Tucker's absence, and Josh did not come up.
I got a huge amount done: not just hauling straw and filling feeders and stockpiling pig feed grains and moving firewood piles and researching chainsaws, but also snuggling cats and brushing dogs and hanging out with pigs and tidying the house. I enjoy doing all these things. They make me feel alive and accomplished.
I wonder what it is about the lingering effect of other humans' presence that makes me stall out like that. It can last for days.
It's not super helpful. I do like and need people.
I guess I'm getting a pretty long list for my next counseling session: stalling out when people are around, neighbours in my yard yelling at me, being blocked/ghosted/whatever.
Good thing that's coming up soon.
