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greenstormIt's stuck around with me all day, and it was pretty sad this morning, so here's my dream:
I was at some sort of big gathering with all the old Vancouver folks, maybe it was a conference, maybe it was someone's big home. I ended up on a couch next to A, who I used to date, and who I suspect it ended somewhat ghostily on both sides with. Anyhow, someone I still care for a lot but our lives are very separate now and we haven't spoken in a long time.
Chemistry started sparking very quickly and a proposition was made and tacitly accepted. We started to get up and head off together. At that moment a group of people including Tucker came by and I gave Tucker a hug before wandering off with A, but during that hug someone came up and informed everyone that Tucker had been exposed to covid shortly before.
Tucker was going to his room to self-isolate so I turned back to A. A was sad, but because I'd hugged Tucker who had been exposed to covid we were beyond his safety threshold. We stood apart looking sad for a moment, then he melted back into the crowd. I knew I probably wouldn't see him or have another chance to be close for a long time.
Then I woke up.
There's a lot of symbolism there: symbolism about intimacy and isolation, about my cometary return period, about what I give up and for who, and about what prevents be from going after things I want.
I also am prone to visitations in my dreams. I have intimacy dreams like other people have sex dreams; my mind supplies what I need when I'm not getting it. The sadness of a person being gone from my life when I wake up, either because they are gone or because they never existed, is so familiar to me.
Between waking up like that and my stitches hurting and doing weird things and being so tired from basically jungle-gymming for a couple hours yesterday bracketed by a hike today isn't the greatest day. I picked raspberries, got eggs, watered the front porch garden, and made myself honey avocado milk though, so it's not too bad.
Let's see how tomorrow goes.
I was at some sort of big gathering with all the old Vancouver folks, maybe it was a conference, maybe it was someone's big home. I ended up on a couch next to A, who I used to date, and who I suspect it ended somewhat ghostily on both sides with. Anyhow, someone I still care for a lot but our lives are very separate now and we haven't spoken in a long time.
Chemistry started sparking very quickly and a proposition was made and tacitly accepted. We started to get up and head off together. At that moment a group of people including Tucker came by and I gave Tucker a hug before wandering off with A, but during that hug someone came up and informed everyone that Tucker had been exposed to covid shortly before.
Tucker was going to his room to self-isolate so I turned back to A. A was sad, but because I'd hugged Tucker who had been exposed to covid we were beyond his safety threshold. We stood apart looking sad for a moment, then he melted back into the crowd. I knew I probably wouldn't see him or have another chance to be close for a long time.
Then I woke up.
There's a lot of symbolism there: symbolism about intimacy and isolation, about my cometary return period, about what I give up and for who, and about what prevents be from going after things I want.
I also am prone to visitations in my dreams. I have intimacy dreams like other people have sex dreams; my mind supplies what I need when I'm not getting it. The sadness of a person being gone from my life when I wake up, either because they are gone or because they never existed, is so familiar to me.
Between waking up like that and my stitches hurting and doing weird things and being so tired from basically jungle-gymming for a couple hours yesterday bracketed by a hike today isn't the greatest day. I picked raspberries, got eggs, watered the front porch garden, and made myself honey avocado milk though, so it's not too bad.
Let's see how tomorrow goes.
