Unsettled/Unpredicted
Oct. 3rd, 2021 08:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormI slept under a weighted blanket for the first time last night. It's made like a quilt, with two layers of fabric sewn into squares and glass beads in the squares. That's a pretty common way of making a weighted blanket, and it had the issue that I expected: that is a lot of thermal mass, and so it took a long time to heat up to body temperature and then once it heated up it stayed hot. It's probably still super warm now, three hours after I got out of bed.
I'd got the blanket used, in town, pretty cheap. I'd been thinking about getting a weighted blanket for awhile-- I usually need several comforters or blankets on me to sleep and figured it might replace several of them-- but it's a lot of money to put out. I was glad to find this one and be able to either use it as a trial or keep it.
I'd forgotten just how *scented* other people's homes and laundries are. Whatever they've done to this it fills the room and then some with this... fragrance. It doesn't seem to trigger my fragrance-sensitive headaches, and I don't use the blanket against my skin so it doesn't have a chance to give me hives. What it does do, though, is poke my senses over and over like a curious 3-year-old and make my house feel foreign. Last night felt like sleeping on someone's couch just because it didn't smell like my home at all.
The blanket is 25 lbs so it's not really washable in a machine. It's even actively a little hard to handle. I might try to give it an enzyme or bleach soak but I'm not sure what drying it would look like. It is definitely too heavy for a laundry line and would probably tip chairs over if I tried to drape it. You know the way a dead body is hard to carry, because it flops all over, it's literally a dead weight? The blanket is worse.
It was nice to sleep under, though, once it warmed up. My sleeping positions tend to stretch out the muscles I've used during the day and having the weight also was a nice tension on my muscles. Plus I imagine if I keep using it my forearms will strengthen up quick.
It was good to have something to think about. I had a talk with Josh where he's prioritized some stuff with his other partner that will change the kinds of sex I can have with him, told after the fact. That's kind of piled on top of something relatively similar with Tucker that happened previously and I'm feeling-- I don't know. Not pleased. Angry? Bereft? The volume is turned down a little on those feelings but they're not great.
And then today I'm trying to get Nox and Oak into the woodshed. I've done the things right, three hours to set up the yard into a series of funnels using the trailers and lots of panels. All I need to do now is go out with a bucket and treats, let them out of the garden into the yard, and gently steer as they wander around. I've given myself all day. I will need to be slow, not be anxious (which of course I am) and just have patience and live in their mindset with them until they're moved.
It's a significant emotional challenge, honestly.
Anyhow, that's my morning. We'll see what the afternoon brings.
I'd got the blanket used, in town, pretty cheap. I'd been thinking about getting a weighted blanket for awhile-- I usually need several comforters or blankets on me to sleep and figured it might replace several of them-- but it's a lot of money to put out. I was glad to find this one and be able to either use it as a trial or keep it.
I'd forgotten just how *scented* other people's homes and laundries are. Whatever they've done to this it fills the room and then some with this... fragrance. It doesn't seem to trigger my fragrance-sensitive headaches, and I don't use the blanket against my skin so it doesn't have a chance to give me hives. What it does do, though, is poke my senses over and over like a curious 3-year-old and make my house feel foreign. Last night felt like sleeping on someone's couch just because it didn't smell like my home at all.
The blanket is 25 lbs so it's not really washable in a machine. It's even actively a little hard to handle. I might try to give it an enzyme or bleach soak but I'm not sure what drying it would look like. It is definitely too heavy for a laundry line and would probably tip chairs over if I tried to drape it. You know the way a dead body is hard to carry, because it flops all over, it's literally a dead weight? The blanket is worse.
It was nice to sleep under, though, once it warmed up. My sleeping positions tend to stretch out the muscles I've used during the day and having the weight also was a nice tension on my muscles. Plus I imagine if I keep using it my forearms will strengthen up quick.
It was good to have something to think about. I had a talk with Josh where he's prioritized some stuff with his other partner that will change the kinds of sex I can have with him, told after the fact. That's kind of piled on top of something relatively similar with Tucker that happened previously and I'm feeling-- I don't know. Not pleased. Angry? Bereft? The volume is turned down a little on those feelings but they're not great.
And then today I'm trying to get Nox and Oak into the woodshed. I've done the things right, three hours to set up the yard into a series of funnels using the trailers and lots of panels. All I need to do now is go out with a bucket and treats, let them out of the garden into the yard, and gently steer as they wander around. I've given myself all day. I will need to be slow, not be anxious (which of course I am) and just have patience and live in their mindset with them until they're moved.
It's a significant emotional challenge, honestly.
Anyhow, that's my morning. We'll see what the afternoon brings.
