Greenstorm's Journal

Mella is dying. She's my rabbit, the pet I've had for longest in my adult life. She went through my rollover car accident with me; she's been by my side since before that experience altered my brain. For a lot of my life shes shared my bedroom. She has a lot of personality and very strong opinions; many rabbits do. I chose her when she was just a couple days old, my tiny Caramella who became a huge crotchety lafy rabbit, and waited until she was finally old enough to come home and be friends with my other rabbit Taoshi. The two didn't get along and Taoshi was lost in that accident (I remember hanging upside down in the seatbelt in the red-wine-splashed snow trying to convince people to either find my escaped rabbits or let me get up and do it; Mella stayed around through that process and Taoshi didn't).

The hardest thing in my life is discontinuity of relationship: it's hardest for me to lose those I love and thus the huge pieces of myself that go with them. It's not that I--

Oh I give up, Mella knew me when I could write her a fitting eulogy but now I can't. I've spent more nights with her than anyone now in my life, and now all I can do is grieve, and mourn, and remember.

Goddammit.