When I understand why you do something, often the first thing of value I get out of it is the realisation that it's not about me. When I can see that a hurtful thing you say isn't actually designed to hurt me but to protect yourself, that it's a flag that says you feel threatened, I can learn to hear it as a cry for a hug rather than as a "harmful action."
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Devil's advocate, as usual
Date: 2004-07-21 01:56 pm (UTC)Do you see what I mean?