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greenstormIncoherent rant, profanity and sex:
I'm a letter on the internet.
Need to stay a little removed from this one. For some reason I'm shaking.
I think most of you know what I mean, please. I don't know that I want to link it here.
Some comment about unprotected community posting in poly?
*weak chuckle*
Something about control of secondary relationships over primaries? Something about being veto'd two months ago and being told it would be 'a whole new relationship' when it started, that everything that went before wouldn't count, and now this? Something about asking for info on how I should have sex outside the group for a fucking year and a half and then deciding to figure things out on my own and, only afterwards, being told, no, that's not acceptable? There was never an agreement, because there was no, no, no outside input at all, there was only me advising him about what would happen -before- it happened and him kinda shrugging. For a year and a half. Something about a bunch of people I know knowing this person and being able to confirm relationship stuff that he tells me? Something about, you're not losing out on unprotected sex with him but I was told, no unprotected sex with him unless I was -mono- with my -secondary partner-... fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm sorry, whatever, I keep going back and adding to this paragraph and I'm upset and will stop now. No, I am not being terribly cautious. No, I am not breaking agreements.
But, perspective says: he's not telling me any of these things. Therefore, they do not need to exist in my world. Juggler's not my problem. I won't take this back to him. The goal of civil communication will be made infinitely harder, but eh. That's the only thing that will effect me and him. I was getting too happy, right? We need crisis.
Breathe, Greenie. Breathe.
He's married to her, you're not.
http://www.livejournal.com/community/polyamory/1188491.html , then, by the way.
I'm a letter on the internet.
Need to stay a little removed from this one. For some reason I'm shaking.
I think most of you know what I mean, please. I don't know that I want to link it here.
Some comment about unprotected community posting in poly?
*weak chuckle*
Something about control of secondary relationships over primaries? Something about being veto'd two months ago and being told it would be 'a whole new relationship' when it started, that everything that went before wouldn't count, and now this? Something about asking for info on how I should have sex outside the group for a fucking year and a half and then deciding to figure things out on my own and, only afterwards, being told, no, that's not acceptable? There was never an agreement, because there was no, no, no outside input at all, there was only me advising him about what would happen -before- it happened and him kinda shrugging. For a year and a half. Something about a bunch of people I know knowing this person and being able to confirm relationship stuff that he tells me? Something about, you're not losing out on unprotected sex with him but I was told, no unprotected sex with him unless I was -mono- with my -secondary partner-... fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm sorry, whatever, I keep going back and adding to this paragraph and I'm upset and will stop now. No, I am not being terribly cautious. No, I am not breaking agreements.
But, perspective says: he's not telling me any of these things. Therefore, they do not need to exist in my world. Juggler's not my problem. I won't take this back to him. The goal of civil communication will be made infinitely harder, but eh. That's the only thing that will effect me and him. I was getting too happy, right? We need crisis.
Breathe, Greenie. Breathe.
He's married to her, you're not.
http://www.livejournal.com/community/polyamory/1188491.html , then, by the way.
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Stepping Into It
Date: 2004-10-12 10:41 am (UTC)It sucks darling, and I'm sorry.
Re: Stepping Into It
Date: 2004-10-12 10:46 am (UTC)Bad: he's not transmitting anything else to me either.
It's been a problem for a long, long time though. He needs a long time to think through his stuff (which does mean it's well thought out, but also means he doesn't like doing it cause it takes lots of time and work) and ...well, both Mouse and I have tended to move pretty fast for him.
Re: Stepping Into It
Date: 2004-10-12 10:51 am (UTC)Re: Stepping Into It
Date: 2004-10-12 10:59 am (UTC)Re: Stepping Into It
Date: 2004-10-12 02:07 pm (UTC)^_^
that said, i've found that the spead of movement is not usually the problem. rather the willingness to communicate...communicate something. even if that means fucking up now and then. many of us fear making a mistake more than staying silent... and that is, of course, the biggest mistake...
ah well, i'm learnin' ^_^
take care greenie. it may or not be your pile, but i'm confident you can get past it fine.
luck to ya'
hedge
Re: Stepping Into It
Date: 2004-10-12 02:27 pm (UTC)Ahem...yes...well..*blush*
Not all fellows have issues with communication.