Over The Bump

[greenstorm]

I'm over the emotional bump now, and everything is once again in perspective. After all, nothing has actually changed. It's amazing how strong my first reactions are, which then dissipate into pretty much nothing.

The decision between Chris and I to be primaries and all the rest was done in full knowledge, after all.

And look, it's sunny out.

Jeh. Sometimes I wonder about myself, emotionally. Cause... it was a really big deal, and I knew from experience that it wouldn't be for long, and lo! It really isn't. :/ I'm so reactive.

Comments

[khamura.livejournal.com]

Jeh. Sometimes I wonder about myself, emotionally. Cause... it was a really big deal, and I knew from experience that it wouldn't be for long, and lo! It really isn't. :/ I'm so reactive.

Dunno if that's necessarily reactive. I find I'm the same way, and so are many people I know who've reached that point where you have a good idea of your internal emotional balance and the corresponding responses to events. In my experience knowing that something is a Big Deal, and simultaneously knowing that It Will Be Over doesn't change anything about the necessity of letting the Big Deal happen first. We're chronological creatures after all -- gotta let the thing to cope with happen forst before you can actually do any coping. :)

Coping With Reactions

[wordbinder.livejournal.com]

Kham wrote: In my experience knowing that something is a Big Deal, and simultaneously knowing that It Will Be Over doesn't change anything about the necessity of letting the Big Deal happen first.

And I agree. I think many fool themselves into thinking that processing internally is better than processing externally. What's important is that the processing happens at all! I tend to be the stew internally, react externally, stew internally about the reaction, feel better afterward sort of person. It's just that this process can take mere seconds or years, depending on how much I'm stuffing feelings at the time.

Glad things are better, and I'm happy for you and your new SO!

Re: Coping With Reactions

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

Glad things are better, and I'm happy for you and your new SO!

Oh, Gods, thank you so much. :)

Re: Coping With Reactions

[wordbinder.livejournal.com]

*wink* You seem surprised!

*hug* You're welcome.

Re: Coping With Reactions

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I don't actually know who you are, but I think you're one of the first people that said that.

Re: Coping With Reactions

[devi-sage.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's Echo2Oak. :) Looks like she was signed into her new "storyteller" account.

But I wanted to say that I too am very happy that you found someone to give you proper time and attention. Or so it does read as. On with more happy. :D

Ack!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_greenwitch_/]

That's what happens when you read oldest to newest entries to try and gain perspective on what everyone else has been up to. So, situation generally fading into something you can deal with. Good.

My method of dealing with Big Deals has changed over the years - from letting problems build up until I explode, to confronting issues immediately (and sometimes without thorough consideration) to asking for some time and space, admitting that something *is* a Big Deal for me, and that I need to compose myself before discussing the issue at hand. It's important that my partners understand this process as well.